Welcome to the Region 2 Diaries. We are officially underway, and as the title would suggest, there are quite a few days that have passed since my arrival. So, instead of telling you a bogus one paragraph "That happened," I am going to truncate the first two days into one fitting post. Before I dive in, let me warn you that UK keyboards are slightly different, so if I make an egregious error and you have no idea what it was about, it is probably because the keys are not in the same places. Already, I must note that the @ and " symbols are in different spots, and that has caused some turmoil.
Before I dive in, I want to note that I plan to have multimedia going on in this. We have shot some videos that I hope to have up momentarily. Also, plenty of pictures courtesy of Alex unless specified otherwise. Do mind that I am almost cured of the jetlag, but I am still a little groggy, so things may get a little wonky in the first few posts.
Anyways, this is all just a preamble. I want to get this out of the way before I just jump into everything that I am about to write. Also, I just want to note that in order to combat home sickness, I will be opening each entry with Jeopardy questions and ending with the answer (or reverse, depending on your definition of the Jeopardy question method). So, now that we have the basic ground rules out of the way, let us begin the first entry. Since it covers the first two days, there will be two. However, expect one in the future.
ANSWER 1: This name comes from words meaning "strong ruler"; it explains a certain lion-hearted king.
ANSWER 2: This book begins, "June 17, 1972, Nine o'clock Saturday morning."
- DAY 1 -
Final day in America. For the most part, spent it relaxing. I did not put too much effort into it. My mother was impressed that I packed so neatly. I want to say that I consulted Google for packing tips. Because of that, I was able to figure out how to pack effectively. However, right now, everything is a ball of mess in the room that I am staying in. That's what I get for packing the underwear underneath everything. Oh well. Back to day one.
So, I'm packed and having spent the night having a Lena Dunham marathon of Girls and Tiny Furniture, I figured that I would get enough hours of sleep on the plane. I really believed that I could get enough sleep on the plane. After a shower and a chat in the living room, we realized that it was getting late. We had to take off to have a farewell breakfast.
So, what was quick and cheap? We went to Denny's. You know what they still had there? The Hobbit cross promotion meals. As ridiculous as I found them to be at the time, I was so eager to try them. So, I thew aside the main menu and immediately went looking for some yummy Shire-based food. I was not let down. I forget the name, but I like the alliterative nature of them all. Hobbit Hidey-Hole or something like that is what I got.
So, I spent a good portion of the conversation talking about my plans for the trip and soon it got on the subject: what are you going to be doing a week from today? Somehow this was immediately side tracked with my desire to know how each of the cats was going to be emotionally affected. I assume Tiger is going to be depressed and sleep all day and the Little One is going to be find inner peace. Face it, she will. She gets smothered with love whenever I am around.
So, on the way to the airport. Literally as we have that "Welcome to LAX" point of view, we are met with a very unwelcoming sight. A Zero Dark Thirty ad. Okay, I want to see that movie, and I kind of admire the craft that went into that poster. However, it is a movie about Osama bin Laden, the guy who orchestrated September 11, 2001. That involved AIRPLANES FLYING INTO BUILDINGS! At that moment, I was so against that poster that I bitched about it for the rest of that car ride. I mean seriously, who advertises a movie about plane crashes at an airport?
It was a slow day at the international terminal. I had to wait maybe behind one person to get to check in. It went smoothly, even though I still fumbled the carry-on luggage request by putting up my suitcase. If they had that much room on the plane, I figured that I would be fine. However, things were quickly resolved. In fact, no problems at any point of checking in or anything that happened after.
As I said, it was a slow day at LAX international terminal and so the goodbyes were clearly milked. I was there hours early and by the look of the line, I would be sitting in 15 minutes. I was almost right on the guesstimation, but no need to get into that. I went through this fancy tube that scanned the entire body. I have no idea why it exists, but I found it niftier than the traditional scanner system.
Because LAX international terminal is so small, I literally walked and it was the second terminal that I could find. The place is so small, I'd hardly call it an airport if it didn't tell me so every five minutes. So I sat and popped on the Oscar Talk podcast that I listen to and they were covering the recent nominations. Nothing too impressive, but at least I got to hear someone compliment Ellen Page. That is always a plus in my book.
It was a good 90 minutes though of sitting in the terminal and kind of feeling like I was entering an alternate universe. I admit that Long Beach is a very diverse city, but the culture blend in one small building made me feel like I was in that movie the Terminal. I expected everyone to wholeheartedly tear about the furniture and make me a bed and find it fine that I am different (yeah, I had issues with that movie). I ended up sitting next to a couple that was from Germany. The reason that I knew this was because the passports had that "eutsch" thing going on at the end and it was red. Also, I found myself oddly attracted to the accent. I now know why Christoph Waltz got nominated for Django Unchained. It feels so fatherly and protective.
Then after a flight to Mexico cleared up all of the wi-fi for my use, I took my free time to abuse free service. Then the plane came and soon we were on our way. I hopped on the plane and sat next to two women who I had no quarrels with. We respected each other's space, and I had my beloved window seat. Things were on their way to a mediocre flight. I was ready to sleep and just ignore the world for a few hours.
I began how I hope every day goes: with a little nod to the Simpsons. I watched "Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts." It is an episode of a rare echelon. I have only seen it once due to limited rebroadcast. I must say that I wasn't wild about it, and I feel like humanizing the sub-sub-characters is a little pointless, but it was a nice chance to see how awkward a Chalmers-heavy episode worked. It was very awkward, but was a good reflection of where the show could go.
I also popped on An Idiot Abroad, which is me being too meta for my own good. It was the Route 66 episode, and nothing felt more ironic than him starting in Santa Monica and moving east. Mind you, I don't visit Santa Monica much, but the feeling of familiarity is just uncanny. There was a lot that I connected with. Truthfully, my lack of preparation for this trip was me just saying that I want to get away. As it stands, I am still trying to accept that I am in England. Architecture is a big give away, but even then, I am expecting to turn a corner and see everything is a construction met to mess with me. I don't know if it is bliss, but the similarities in culture are just enough to keep me feeling like I am not in the middle of a small island. Also, Karl Pilkington may be as reluctant as I sometimes am so far.
Anyways, since things blend together, this is the end of day one. Turn tape over to read about the rest. Basically, after awhile, things turned to night, so I am just going to consider this Day Two material. It is great, though, that the lights made it look like lava pouring down the mountains. Bright, oozy lava. It eventually disappeared, but I loved the idea of imagining the world covered in lava from the sky. Like somehow I was fortunate to be on a surviving plane.
QUESTION 1: What is "All the President's Men"
-DAY TWO-
I forgot to mention. Our intro video was the famous video that Peter Jackson shot where everything was very much Hobbit-based. It was a little ridiculous and I feel like I am going to hate seeing it on the way back. I sympathize with the stewards who have to put up with it for every flight. It wasn't elaborately annoying, but the subtle winks and nods felt a little too pandering. Also, it must be confusing for the AARP crowd.
But anyways, flight continues and after a break from TV, I return to finally watch Pitch Perfect, a movie that I have convinced myself that I have been waiting for. Truthfully, as an unapologetic lover of Bring It On, I really want a lively, ridiculously fun movie. Also, puns on par with cheerocracy would be much appreciated. At its core, it was a movie that was solid, but it was trying too hard to be that fun movie of the year. First off, in the first five minutes, there's a gratuitous vomit scene that felt over the top. For a movie about accapella singing, over the top is a term you use lightly. Still, projectile vomit is such an issue with this movie. There's even a scene where a character is making snow angels in vomit. I mean seriously, how the fuck do people call this a great movie? Cut out five minutes, and I would be closer to accepting that.
Also, I have an issue with the depiction of Asians. They either are so quiet that you cannot hear them, or they are video game nerds. Really nothing to work with. I am fine with the black character being a closeted lesbian, but the equal rights crap in this just made no sense, speaking that the characters were not all equal. Even the nerd depiction was awful and played for broad humor. It's odd that a movie that I prayed would insult Glee to the death was itself an equally pandering film. I also hate that even though Anna Kendrick was one who said "I don't want a typical ending," we got JUST THAT.
Rebel Wilson actually comes out of this making me like her. She was definitely funny and I have enough clever moments to make me like it, in theory. However, I hate that it falls into the mean girls/controlling leader stuff in the last 20 minutes. The orchestrations on vocals were fine and I even like the idea of making Kendrick a mash-up artist, but even then, it served no end game, and it only made me want to watch Girl Walk // All Day.
And finally, I am officially tired of movies that reference John Hughes as a life changing person. Okay, more specifically, any film from post-2000's featuring a story that is set after 2000. I will admit, I watched my share of Hughes in high school, and Sixteen Candles is still a boss movie (don't get me started on Ferris Bueller though). However, what essentially killed my appreciation of Pitch Perfect (and Easy A for that matter) is that the leads were young people who likes Hughes films to the point that they dedicate their endings to ripping off Hughes. It doesn't make a happy ending, it is just so DAMN frustrating. Pitch Perfect may be a terrible offender of ripping Hughes off. Why do I take issue with young people referencing Hughes? It seems lazy and contrived. I mean, there has to be a more modern contemporary that will convince you that being young and hormonal is complicated.
I'm sorry world, but opening with a vomit joke and ending with a John Hughes knock-off is just a buzz kill. For all the moments of joy that Pitch Perfect gave me, it was too snarky and contrived. Also, my initial joy of it being a commentary on females in a male dominated society were quickly diminished when they began singing male-dominated songs, like as if this was how you made it in a male-dominated society. The subtext isn't blatant, but when you compare it to the blissful political commentary of Bring It On, you just look like amateur hour.
I took some time off before venturing into the next movie: The Pirates!: Band of Misfits. I mostly saw it to see if it was worthy of that Oscar nomination. I am proud to say that it is so much more. It arguably could have made my Top 10 for last year. Not even five minutes in, and I was laughing at the rapid-fire, blatantly British sense of humor. It was just so inventive and fun. It wasn't a terribly complex story (at first), but it was just so madcap and fun that I am glad that this movie existed. I was tempted just to put it on repeat for the rest of the flight, but I was feeling like it would be overkill.
I know, I know, I praise a movie and dedicate just a paragraph to it. However, if you like great kids movies and equally inventive animation, please see it. It really makes computer graphics look like shit. It also isn't very long, so you're not going to be missing out on much. To say the least, I had less to complain about than Pitch Perfect. God, even typing that title makes me loathe it more.
After that, I was rummaging in my bag. By this point, the person in front of me decided to lean back for a snooze. I had to watch The Pirates! from an odd angle for the last 30 mintues. However, it was a good excuse to give myself some great leg exercise. I pretty much operated with my legs. With the lights going down for the passengers, I was forced to try my hand at memory tests. I literally just tried reaching into the dark. However, in this time, my camera fell out of my bag and into a crevice between the seat in front of me and the wall.
I was obsessed with getting that camera. I unfortunately feel like it is now a little bit scratched, but things will be fine. However, as I moved my foot around, I tried to get it at a good distance to grab it. I got it right by my side at a comfortable distance. That is, if the chair in front of me would move up. It didn't for four hours. I tried to make it crawl up the wall (which is how I picked up my customs form when it fell). I just pushed it further back to a similar spot by my chair. A lot of me shoving my hand down the side to try and get it. No luck.
I practically was staying up because I had a desire to not forget about that camera. I mean, it was going to be there if I dozed off, but I felt like my memory would be wiped the second that I fell asleep. I stayed up just trying to believe that I needed to get it. Occasionally, I kept reaching down, trying to grab it, just to realize that the lady's chair made it even impossible for me to lower my head to an odd angle to reach it. However, this did make for good exercise. Also, the lack of energy that went into me getting it when the plane landed felt anti-climactic in comparison. It was only made more annoying when I saw that she was reading a Kindle and kissing a man who was watching a lot of Two and a Half Men in front of me. That would have been a deal breaker for me. Who watches that garbage?
Not too much happened, but I did stare into what looked like oblivion out the window. Darkness for almost six hours. It was a trip. I wanted there to be something out there. I decided to relax and just listen to podcasts. Doug Loves Movies' 12 Guests of Christmas was first. Close to three hours, it took 90 minutes just to introduce everyone, and I was already over the episode. If I didn't have 5 hours to kill, I wouldn't have listened to the whole thing. I don't even remember how it ended. I am really over listening to that show regularly.
The next one went a little smoother. Analyze Phish is a show that I heard about and never got around to. Scott Aukerman and Harris Wittels sit around playing Phish records until Aukerman admits that he likes the band. For the most part, this was the first time I ever listened to that band. It wasn't necessarily funny (as placing it in the comedy category suggests), but it was entertaining listening to people discuss music in a humorous manner that gave us a peek into their obsessions. I am kind of curious to listen to the other three episodes. Maybe?
It was pretty uneventful after that. I stared as the sky turned to morning. It was a gorgeous, layered look that felt like Antarctica mixed with Miyazaki or Life of Pi. I swear that I was looking at glaciers in the sky. However, after an hour of that, I realized that maybe I just wanted to see some land. It was a tease, as we had to circle in the sky for 20 minutes because the ground was congested. I really was getting desperate to see land at that point. I also was praying that my phone slid forward so that I could reach it.
We landed. Uneventful. When we got off, it was a long stretch from the plane to customs. I tried to follow people in case I got lost. In the end, I call that a smart move. I got to the customs line right before the crowd piled up from the flight. A short wait, but not as bad as if I stopped off to go to the bathroom. Jesus, did I have to go to the bathroom. I held it in for that long and I even had the meals. It was an unfair tease when we had to circle in the sky.
I was very overeager going through customs. Typical questions. Why was I there? I ended up making Alex to be this great musician that I was going to see record. Technically true at the time (reports argue that I may not be going to the studio), but it did lead to me enthusisatically saying everything that I knew about Alex. Nothing exploiting, but I just felt that the more I said, the easier it would be for me to get through. What was this? 21 Questions or bullshit detector? Does my buttoned down dress-up not make me look innocent enough?
Through customs, I finally went to that bathroom. It was glorious. Got my luggage and finally left the building to see Alex in the outside waiting for me. He was surprised that I was early, which I understood because my flight somehow was an hour earlier than expected. We got the money exchanged ($250 equals £174) and finally headed out to the trains. He gave me a card to get through all of the nonsense.
Nothing too eventful about underground trains. Very much what I expected. Maybe it was glee of finally being face to face with Alex, or the overwhelming amount of culture that I have been surrounded by, or even that I hadn't slept since 10 AM PST (so, roughly 6 PM Sunday) and it was around 4 PM Monday. We hopped trains a few times, and I got to see a lot of the country side. It gave us time to catch on. However, I just really wanted to stay still. All of the moving had gotten to me and I never felt like I got to familiarize myself with anything up until we got to his house.
However, the one bright spot on the trip was that the railway lead straight to Cockfosters. Imagine a female, British computer thingy saying that a lot. I really enjoyed that way more than I should have. I don't normally laugh at "cock" things, but suddenly, I was amused by that word. Maybe it is the placement in front of fosters, but it is just so amazing how much joy I got out of hearing that 17 times on a very long train ride to Rye.
Finally getting to Alex's house, I met everyone.
Even the cats, Pepper and Snowy, remembered me, or at least were quick to my affection. I ended up petting them a lot and I probably will the minute that I stop writing this. I enjoyed their company and I will admit that maybe I have abused the soda privilge that day, but I was really in the mindset that I neeeded to drink, drink, drink. Eating wasn't as high on priorities that day.
But we sat around talking. I talked to Viv about career plans, but I was probably out of it. I gave vague statements that I ended up disagreeing with. She didn't hate what I had to say, which is a plus. However, I don't know that it was the greatest conversation that I could have given. Luckily it was more lively and broad subjects after that point.
Just like last time, one of the first things that we did was watch "authentically British" comedy. She asked me what my favorite shows were. I honestly was probably warped, because I could only say the Simpsons. However, I finally saw an episode of Blackadder. I ended up arguing that it was too silly. That didn't go over well, nor did my analysis. I just felt it was too much jokes and not enough character. Truthfully, it was an odd thing to watch when I was trying to stay up and not entirely wanting to focus on something. It was good, but I felt like the joke-joke-joke thing was a little dated. I didn't really have constructive thoughts, and it was over the dumbest things. I still feel like what ended up being good conversations were ruined because I couldn't say that I like my humor dry and character-based. I argue that comedies are more interesting because even if they are not funny, a well constructed character with odd features is still fascinating to watch.
After some the Inbetweeners (and sharing with Alex my failed chance to interview the cast), I admitted that I was not into watching TV. I just wanted something that bordered nothingness. It turned out to be sleep. I wasn't feeling tired, but I think that was just from the shock of being in a new area. I crashed pretty easily after that point.
Okay, so what basically happened that I didn't say is that I met Viv's boyfriend Chris. He is a great guy and we got along pretty quickly. He had stories about the Olympics that I found interesting. He is really into the blues (which I have heard a lot of, from music to him just telling stories) and is just enthusiastic to introduce me to random odd things. So far, not much to complain about. Definitely a lively person and I enjoy him being around, though like almost all occasions, I feel like I am abusing his niceness by being typical houseguest. He makes sure I am comfortable. I admire that, but I still feel like maybe I could do something? What do I know. I think he's really nice, though.
It is Tuesday, January 15 right now. I will have to make today a two parter. Expect part one sometime soon. It will be mostly everything that I did before writing this. How sleeping went, and how I felt like 10 PM was 10 AM. Also, you'll be getting your first glimpse of pictures! Rye is a gorgeous city. Cannot wait for you to see the shots. I also may have some videos along the way. Until then, I hope you have enjoyed the inaugural post. Everything is great.
ANSWER 2: What is Richard?
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