Day 16 [pt. 2] (Jan. 28): "When the shadows of this life have gone, I'll fly away"

ANSWER: This synonym for "wide" can be found before "cloth" or "minded."

-Day Sixteen-

Alex wakes me up in the morning and suddenly I realize that it is the last 90 minutes in Rye. I think back to the night before and how reading Matt Patches' Twitter account made me download this new thing called Vine. What is it? It is like the Twitter equivalence for Youtube. You film nonsense for six seconds and that is somehow justification for a new app. I cannot see it serving any purpose at all. However, I spent the night watching Matt Patches dance, so I got bored and downloaded it. I was intending on trying it out with Alex, but it never happened. Now I have it and I pray that it doesn't sweep the nation. It is fine, but I cannot fathom the world's attention span being cut down to six seconds.

After a bath and a last sweep of the room, I went down for a breakfast of oatmeal and tea. We had a fridge full of store name Coke knock-offs that were intended to be gone by morning, but ended up being in the fridge. Who knows if Viv will drink them all. In fact, who knows who is going to finish them off. We got our last conversations out of the way before heading off to the train. Viv decided to give us a speed rail all day pass. We saw her off at Ashford and after a few hugs, she went about her work schedule. I kind of wish that I thanked her more for the hospitality, but I suppose my good house guest style will shine through. Also, I left her a little something that I hope she liked.

Alex and I took the speed rail, which lead to a conversation about the stand up he performed a few nights ago. He downloaded the Rock of Ages version of "We Built This City" to play over and over. I went into listening to WTF with Marc Maron, which made Alex feel he failed me as a friend that I no longer listen to music in public. Truthfully, I think I overdo the podcasts, but I also feel like they have somehow centered me better than music was. I'm sure he understands.

We took the London Underground for the remainder of the train rides until we got to the airport. After checking in, at which point Alex called me stupid and demanded that the New Zealand Air attendant explain to me how to get through security and to the gate. Of course, the reason I looked confused was because I was following Alex, and we initially went through premium because he was walking that way. It was the start to a day that I partially wished I got sleep the night before.

We had an hour until I could be through security, so we had our last meal in the food court upstairs. It was going to be Wetherspoons, which is the first time that I got the words right. However, when it was discovered to be overpriced, we walked out and over to Viva Italia. Not knowing Italian, I fucked with Alex and began talking in Spanglish to describe Italian food. I had no idea if he was annoyed or laughing.Also, I pray that I didn't come across as ignorant tourist. It was all an extended, lame riff.

We both had lasagna and bought Lipton ice tea. We sat getting the last bits of conversation out of the way. Oddly, my biggest concern was that I didn't want to leave and go back to work. Why that overpowered my conversation, I do not know. However, we just chatted and tried to figure out ways to get Alex onto the flight. It didn't work, but it was a bittersweet way to say goodbye. We had some chocolate before he finally said his goodbye and suddenly like that, I was back to America. I was not ready to go, but the line was short and I had an hour before the flight to go. It almost breaks my heart that we usually only see each other in intervals of three years. It means that he either breaks it (talk is he MAY come out next year, but like every time he says it, MAY is a strong word, but it's really, really not like soon), or I wander life and wait for that time to come. 

Going from England to America seemed a little odder than the flight out. This is notably because I have done most of the pre-flight stuff in America. It isn't drastically different, but it is in a bigger building and going into America isn't something I do often. I pretty much prepared myself for a quick venture through security. I had all of my electronics in my bag, not wearing too much accessories, and my belt was loose enough to slap off at a moment's notice. Yes, I was ready to walk through and tip my hat.

In an odd series of events, I walked through the scanner and first thing goes wrong. I have nothing on me, but the buzzer goes off. The guy pats me down and clears me. However, the British are blunt about things, so all he does is says "Cheers" and expects me to know that I'm done. I wait five seconds before leaving because, well, who knows if that wasn't the freedom word. Then as I am packing up my belongings off of the table, another guy asks me about my bag. He takes out the electronics, scans them, and puts me on my way. So basically, my intention of getting through quickly and harmlessly took an extra minute. No real loss, but ironic since I really did try to make things as convenient as possible. 

I waited a few minutes to discover what my gate was. At first I was in disbelief. I haven't been in a big airport in quite awhile. Gate 48. Holy crap. I saw the signs and it pointed me to Gate 48. However, it felt like a tease because it just kept going and rounding corners until we finally landed at the end of the building, which was at least a five minute walk. I got through security and sat down with enough options for chairs. It felt like a V.I.P. room, as it was blocked off by a glass window and you had to flash your ticket to get in. I just sat there and popped on Operation Kino. I usually listen on Fridays, but this trip has been so crazy, I just decided to accept it. Also, it means nothing to all of you, but they have a remix clip of Patches' Matches sounds that really made me laugh, and I really hope a singular MP3 file exists. I was almost laughing in the airport whenever I heard the words "David?" or "Movies!"It is called Op Kino Orgy if anyone wants to do the grunt work.

In an interesting twist, the flight is boarding. However, unlike last time, I am the third section called. In fact, I am barely in that area, as he calls rows 51 back. I am 51 A! Last time I was 48 F, which meant I had to wait until that batch of people got on. I was on and sitting down, kind of hoping that I had good people sitting next to me. I didn't. I had an empty chair next to me. It was kind of glorious, as the lady two seats over and I took that chance to just stretch out and place our feet into the free space. You cannot ignore free space, especially on a 10 hour flight.

We took off and I almost immediately tried to get some sleep. It didn't work. I had my head down for three hours, trying to get to that point where I am just snoring. The wall was too painful, and the lady in front of me had her chair pushed far enough back that all I could do was lean my forehead on it. It was a pain in the ass to try and sleep. I am sure closing eyes does something, but lose consciousness, it did not.

Eventually, I decided to take a break from trying to sleep and watched Perks of Being a Wallflower. I get why people like it, but it just feels a little too familiar. Misfits hanging out and we discover why the lead character is shy. Truthfully, it reminded me of people I knew in high school, but that doesn't mean that I connected with it at all. As a shy kid, it seems like every misfit is somehow just thrown into random shit and loves life quickly. I don't quite see it that way. I felt it was going too much for melodrama, and it just didn't work. It made me almost glad that I wasn't in high school anymore. Also, the kids just felt like they were supposed to say the darnedest things. Either I am a special case, or I just don't get it. 

Then I got into podcasts to try and pass the time. I checked out the recent Comedy Bang Bang episode with Bill Cosby Bukowski. For those that don't know, Jon Daly plays Bill Cosby, but with Charles Bukowski tendencies. It doesn't make sense on paper, but it is fucking amazing to listen to. I was consistently laughing and I almost wish that the character had his own show. 30 minutes. Somewhere on the internet. It is probably and byfar my favorite Bill Cosby parody out there. Tim Heidecker was also there, and I still feel like I am coming around to liking him. He's funny, though seriously, I should have just gone overboard and downloaded more Comedy Bang Bang. Everything else I listened to just went out one ear and in the other but poorly constructed a sentence.

The last three hours were a nightmare. I had nothing to do. Podcasts were officially too hard to focus on. I was contemplating watching 21 Jump Street, but I grew bored of looking at things. I tried the sleep thing again. It failed miserably, but it did help people to leave me alone. It was a fucking long three hours. However, about 40 minutes to landing, a steward comes over to me and wonders if I am all right. He thinks that I have been sleeping for most of the trip, notably because I was asleep during the first meal and when he passed out the last one. In a sense, he kind of made me feel guilty, so I ate as much of the second course as I could before we had to prepare for landing.

I don't know why, but looking at Los Angeles at night is pretty odd. The lights look orange from the sky, and it almost felt like the freeway was crawling with centipedes. The orange color kind of bugged me and just so many lights. I didn't get that at all in England. In a sense, I suffered reverse culture shock, and didn't know if I could handle being back in the busy, open areas. The plane eventually landed and I felt the dread of having to get through customs. I had enough trouble on the plane filling it out correctly, as I first wrote down that I didn't have any sellable goods (which I just assumed meant souvenirs), but eventually wrote yes because I thought it meant souvenirs. 

After getting in the wrong line, a lady directed me to customs. Got through that with little hassle. Then I went through another version of customs with equally little hassle. I was now free and back home. The stress of being constrained was now almost gone. I only needed to find my ride home. I found my mom waiting in the lobby. I tried to persuade her that Alex was coming out, but she didn't believe me. We left without changing currency to American money. Don't worry, it was only L45 (just call that pounds). 

We spent the car ride home talking about the flight before transferring into a discussion about the Oscars. She is up to an impressive 6 out of 9 Best Picture nominees that she has seen. I still seriously believe that it is a great year and I am looking forward to the actual ceremony now. Not too much to share that I already told you, but I enjoy that our second instinct is to talk about the Oscars, notably because she has seen way more since I last spoke to her. We're oddly split on Lincoln, but I still am putting money on Argo for Best Picture and Steven Spielberg for Director.

We got home and my dad was there to meet me. He had dinner and we sat around talking about the trip. One of my first instincts was to get a big glass of tea and just swig it down. After living in a very conserving country, that extra gulp felt like a relief. I have been attempted to be pedigreed into drinking a glass every other hour. I get it, but it really did a toll on my body. I don't know if it was good or bad. 

After discussions, I said my goodbyes and caught up with the first two episodes of season two of Girls. The show is amazing, you guys. I probably will watch it again when I recap it (probably next week), but for the time being, the show is back, and while I feel it is somewhat more familiar than it should be, the cast is bigger and stronger, and I can find little to complain about. Gah! I need to find episode three. Episode two ends on such an intriguing cliff hanger that I need to know more. Girls may be slowly becoming a personal favorite of all time. We'll see.

In an odd twist, I actually didn't take long to get my sleeping pattern back to normal. I went to bed at 11 and woke up at 8. Almost perfect. All I have to do is maintain it and it will be like I never left. Thanks, body. Now, to start unpacking and hopefully catching Zero Dark Thirty this afternoon. Yeah, not exactly a great first day back, but it beats work, which I will probably go to tonight to look up my schedule. Side note, can I still drive? It has been so long since I touched a wheel.

As I said before, look out for a retrospective entry coming sometime in a few days. I don't know what I will say, but I probably will be taking up a lot of space. Also, pictures will probably be appearing soon as well. Until then, it has been a great trip and I love that I dovetailed this entire thing with Girls and Zero Dark Thirty. Females, you guys!

QUESTION: What is broad?

Day 15-16 [pt. 1] (Jan. 27-28): A lazy man's Fight Club

ANSWER: This Ocean current outdoes any river; at maximum flow off the Carolinas, its flow is 3,500 times the Mississippi's.

-Day Fifteen-

What do I mean by part one? As mentioned in the previous entry, I pulled an all nighter. I decided that instead of murking up the line and not knowing when the all nighter ends and the flight begins, I will go until the break of dawn and finish off the series with an entry just about the bittersweet departure (I am probably going to do a retrospective as well, but not until the weekend possibly). As a result, you also will not see the Question for January 28 until then.

Because I went to bed late, I wake up around noon and hang out by myself for awhile. I have grown to appreciate the free time to myself and I cannot just jump into situations. I need to get psyched up for the day. On this day, I was pretty much in a cheerful mood, if just because I picked the right music. When I finally got up, I walked by the living room, where I have been meaning to mention that someone in that family owns a plush version of the dragon from Pete's Dragon. I kind of admired that because "Brazzle Dazzle Day" has been a go to song for cheering me up.

Bambi and Violet were the only two performers left. About six stayed at the house and most left before noon. I had some breakfast and ended up talking to Natalie's mom for a decent amount of time about the origin of our cats. Where did they come from, and what they mean to us. I have been trying to get her cats attention during my brief stay there, and it was unsuccessful. I really derailed conversations quickly whenever a cat entered the room because, well, I wanted their attention. 

Bambi, Alex, and I just began talking about the differences between London and Los Angeles as well as just about life in general. Alex was counting money from the night before and we also got on a little rant on different currency as well. Alex was impressed that I was involved so much with the conversation, but truthfully, things have been odd and I just cannot jump into conversations that feel exclusive, like I needed to be somewhere in order to get something. That tends to be what most conversations were with Alex's friends. Not this one. We were just talking about random things, and yes, I had things to say.

We were eventually all set to go and the four of us headed for the train, and later the boat back to the mainland. Alex spent a good portion of the ride talking about his PR days and how This Is It is not a Michael Jackson scam. Sometimes you have to wonder if Alex was still in the PR gig, what stories he would have to share. I cannot see how anyone would fire him. He really does have charisma and dedication. When we arrived, we said goodbye to Bambi and Violet and took our long trains back to Rye. I have nothing but positive words to say about those two, as I felt like we got along just great. 

During the train ride, I ended up listening to Jay and Silent Bob Get Old. A whole two hour episode, which was very much an endurance test. If these shows were 70 minutes tops, this would be a really solid addition to my weekly listening. I was laughing and just enjoying the stories. However, the longer it got, the more I wanted to turn it off and just move on with my life. However, because the ride was so long, I stuck it out and kind of am back to being opposed to listening weekly as I initially planned. Still, I think that they're more entertaining than I initially gave them credit for last year.

I forget what the rest of the train ride featured. Knowing me, it was probably another Lena Dunham interview. I remember listening to quite a few. Either that, or the Auteurcast. I really forget what it was exactly. We eventually got to Hastings, which was the last stop because there was work being done on the rails between that point and Rye. To compensate, the train company hired a bus to take us the rest of the way.

Alex and I took to the back row, which lead to a lively discussion about where the cool kids sat on the bus. I honestly didn't know because I had a father who loved me enough to drive me to school. After that died down, we started what felt like a lazy man's Fight Club. Basically, we spent the remainder of the trip punching each other in the shoulder. Usually I give up rather quickly, but this time, I stuck it out and part of me regrets it, but I couldn't let Alex win. In the end, I felt that we both lost. My shoulder still hurts like hell.

Once in Rye, we got snacks and began to prepare for the ultimate all nighter. We figured that a few hours of sleep would do us good. We headed to our rooms and I tried to get sleep. However, around 11, I realized that I wasn't quite to that point yet. I caught up on Sundance coverage and watched my favorite Ellen Page compilation Youtube video, which is one set to KT Tunstall's "Suddenly I See." It got blocked in the states for some reason, so I abused the privilege. I was at peace.

However, my suitcase was empty. All of my clean clothes were stacked on the floor and nothing had the look of leaving. It became a dilemma of getting everything in its proper place. However, after catching up on all of the Sundance news, it was time to just sit back and enjoy podcasts. That happened until about 2:30 AM, when I finally got up and about and sloppily threw everything together. When I closed everything up, I was listening to By the Way, which had Lena Dunham on.

Let me just say up front that I do not hate Jeff Garlin on Curb Your Enthusiasm. However, I do not like him as an addition to podcasts. His voice just gets to me and he is somewhat of a blowhard. However, his show has had two great guests on, and they have been fascinating subjects. First was Larry David (which is well worth listening to) and Lena Dunham. Somehow, they produce great subjects, but Jeff Garlin just bugs me. It almost makes me wish that it was reverse and that these guests were interviewing him. Larry David is so great, he needs a show. 

I passed out sometime in that period. Where was Alex in all of this? Here is the reality. We were supposed to meet up at 1 AM. I was up doing stuff at that time. When it didn't happen, I began listening to podcasts. Suddenly, I turn off the lights because I don't need it. He's knocking on the door while I am listening to stuff. I don't hear it. Note, I have gone to the bathroom at least two times that night, and neither signified a crossing of paths. I passed out at 6 AM and saw him at 8 AM saying that I had 90 minutes to get ready. Luckily I did actually pack before I passed out.

Sundance coverage isn't much, but some noteworthy things. Fruitvale is the big prize winner there. It may arguably be one of the possible Oscar contenders for next year. I don't know what it is about, but I know that I probably will see it now. Also, keep an eye out for Escape From Tomorrow, which is a guerrilla style film shot at Disney World and has been described as very David Lynchian. I don't know why, but as Girl Walk // All Day will prove, I just enjoy something about guerrilla style fictional narratives.

It has been a great trip, but it isn't over yet. Got a little bit more time to go before I wish you all adieu. Check out what happened after 8 AM in the next entry.

QUESTION: What is the Gulf Stream?

Day 13-14 (Jan. 25-26): Where all the Wight Women At?

ANSWER 1: Oliver from Harvard and Jennifer at Radcliffe survive every obstacle except mortality in this best seller.

ANSWER 2: This Skakespearean tragedy, one of his last, is based on Plutarch's Lives.

-Day Thirteen-

For starters, I am well aware that this is more than a few days late. I hope that through the last stretch of entries, I will be able to tell you simply that I was very busy without having to blatantly say that. Also, day thirteen was pretty much a slog. How much of a slog was it? 

I figured that I would explain myself in regards to the last entry. When I said that day 12 was the worst day of the trip, I stand by it. However, if the worst that this gets is riding trains for hours on end and arriving late at night to watch white rappers on music video channels, then I am having a really solid trip. However, because only one day can be the best, alas one day has to be the worst. It has to lack something that the others have. Activity is the one thing that comes to mind. It was predominantly travel. No fuss, no muss. It wasn't that I got stranded in Cornhead and had to call Viv for a ride home. It is simply that when I compile memories for the trip, I take the least from day twelve. So while the terms worst may be deemed as too much of a problematic wording, it really was just a day aboard the train.

Anyways, on to day thirteen. this isn't really a day for me. I wake up and Alex informs me that he needs to help Natalie at her work place: Cancer Research, which is a thrift shop of sorts with the intention of donating profits to cancer research. The place didn't have wi-fi, so Alex dumped me at a cafe down the street with a computer, thus where I wrote my last entry and felt the need to watch the Inside Llewellyn Davis trailer on repeat. I didn't.

However, I had this really awesome cheese potato that came with a side of salad. Since I was on a sofa, I had to juggle the computer and potato quite often, but damn, I really miss having cheese in potatoes. One of my regrets is not having more potato/cheese combos.

The rest of the stay wasn't that eventful. I pretty much took time to blast Facebook with more nonsensical posts about the Grammys (Jack White and the Black Keys for Best Album!), and how much I dislike talking about keeping Star Wars alive. Unfortunately, nobody was up at the time, so I rarely got replies and my one true moment to sit around and talk to people kind of jeopardized itself. 

To say the least, I also had a weird period during that time where I read Pajiba's review of Movie 43, which I figured would be awful. However, you kind of hope with so many Oscar winners and favorite up and comers that there would be some redemption. The review wasn't so much "this sucks," but a list detailing the graphic humor. I will not dare waste your time mentioning it, as I feel that just knowing about it put me into a deep depression until Alex showed up. I mean, it probably isn't as graphic as imagining it is, but the fact that it was committed to celluloid is just terrible. Also, I really feel bad for Chris Pratt, who has been on a roll in the past few years and I almost feel like half-jokingly writing a piece that this will corrupt Hugh Jackman's Oscar chances (but I am pro-Joaquin Phoenix till the end). And on a final note, I know it is January and a lot of crap comes out in January, but it sincerely made me feel terrible to be an American and have it associated with my country. For some reason, bad comedies really piss me off more than bad-any other genre. This easily sounds like one of the worst.

Anyways, that is how much of a slog my day was. I was able to write up a storm and still find time to get bummed out that America released a really shitty movie. On the bright side, I cannot be blamed for either that film of Hansel and Gretel: Vampire Hunters success at the box office last weekend because, ahem, I was on a plane. I am still loathing the moment that I click on the box office and see if anything embarrassing has happened while I was gone. I sincerely miss keeping up with stats.

Back at Natalie's house in the evening, I am not entirely sure what we did. I know that we watched two whole episodes of the Simpsons, two halves (thanks to a poorly programmed recording), and it was a relief. I seriously watch that show every day and it has been a little hard during the trip not having access to it on a regular basis. I don't know if Alex quite enjoyed the episodes as much as I did, but I still find reason to admire it.

That's it. That's all. That's all there is. Told you, it wasn't much of a day. Everyone is getting ready for the burlesque show tomorrow and I am just trying to make sure that I don't get into their hairs. 

-Day Fourteen-

After talking with Alex, I understand that my involvement with the show is kind of crucial. No, I was not performing, but after a string of paranoia of people either dropping out or missing a few key elements, this was the big day. It was time to put our nose to the grindstone and just make the best of this task, and don't ask why. Since we were making posters on the cheap, I was in charge of cutting up cardboard boxes into specific shapes while Alex cut them into frames and Natalie did some calls to make sure the world was arranged correctly for tonight.

After a lunch while watching soccer, I was no longer needed. They dumped me in Natalie's bedroom, where I continued my quest to finish off Threesome before the trip ended. On a spoiler note: I wasn't successful, but only by three episodes. I must say that I really enjoy the show and I found one episode with Bill Bailey to be rather odd in that it was like a hostage parody set in a mall with two babies. It was pretty great. Nothing is quite up to the level of Peep Show, but Jez does get around and I am just glad to know that England has modern contemporaries instead of being "Oh, you're that country that produced Monty Python," 

We left in the early afternoon to start setting up the event. Now, I had no idea what to expect. Truthfully, every time I hear about a show, I imagine an auditorium set up. There's a stage up front and the seats lined for the remaining space. Nope. This was just an empty room and it was up to a crew of about seven (don't quote me on that) to get everything in order. 

However, what a crew. They got the stage worked out and the lighting and sound. These guys were great at working fast and efficient. I was in charge of helping to line up tables and make sure that there was enough chairs. We had to stop by at the nearby supermarket store Morrison's for some important items, but otherwise, we were looking great with some time until the crowd started pouring in.

It made me nostalgic for when I was younger, going as far back as high school. I always felt odd not doing stuff at these events. I cannot go to a carnival without the feeling of "can I help you?" I just enjoy the labor behind setting up gigs, notably smaller ones that require limited people to make something happen. You have to be self-determined and it is one of those few times that I feel that you actually get to know people's work ethics. While I plan to retire and move into writing soon, I still enjoy helping set stuff up, if just because the reward of the evening being a success only feels that much more earned.

After a quick stop at McDonalds for dinner (we were one of about four parties that went there during the evening), I was relieved of duty. I now could do whatever I want, which you must admit is awkward in a place where you know no one and you kind of feel like even moving a chair can be done. However, the place looked great, and if I find a good shot, I'll throw it your way (since majority of the shots were of the stage, there isn't too much audience shots). Even if I didn't enjoy burlesque, I had that sensation of positivity already that this place looks good, and it is all because of teamwork. In fact, I argue that it would have been harder for me to be friendlier if I just showed up at the last minute. These are solid people, I must say.

I sat towards the back by the cameraman. I pretty much wouldn't feel right sitting at a table, even if I helped to decorate it. Before I go any further, let me establish preconceived notions. I don't go out to erotic events. It just isn't what I do. Now I know that burlesque isn't exactly stripping, but the provocative factor does detriment my enthusiasm. I mean, I am very proud of the effort put into getting tonight together, but before I saw anything, it seemed kitschy and dumb. I do not say this to offend anyone who put on the event. Seeing the effort into how the show came together more than elevates my opinion to a place of respect.

With that said, I must admit that I was not really into the idea that cabaret-style music dominated the show. I figured that was my initial reasoning for why I presumed it was kitschy. The performance began and the first few performers got me thinking... this is kind of silly. All they do is slowly take their clothes off in similar fashion. It felt like watching gif images on a loop for the first 15 minutes. Of course, I will remain from mentioning who to spare hurt feelings, but it was more because their routines were just not that inspired.

Cut to about the fifth one in and suddenly it is starting to make more sense. Sure, it is about removing clothes, but there is more to it. While I do think that gratuitous glove removal is a little overdone, the performers all got more and more interesting. They had outfits and props and suddenly their performance became entertainment. It wasn't so much about the arrival, but how they got there. I began to see it as an erotic equivalence to a well constructed paragraph that teases you until... BAM! You have reached the end/shocking reveal or twist. While some paragraphs are just average, a really good one will make you feel great.

Will I go see burlesque again? Probably not on my own, but I definitely don't entirely knock it anymore. It is a performance piece and while the punchline is way more obvious than a comic or dance, there is an art to a well constructed piece. I admit some were just plain goofy, but there is a mix of confidence and creativity that drives it to a place that somehow works. I will admit that I still don't get the cat calls during the performance, as it dampened the final hurrah when the performance was done, but I suppose it works.

There was a lady playing accordion, and either I was just out of it, or I thought it went on too long. She tried to be morbid and sly, and I felt like it lacked rhythm. That was my big concern. The music just didn't flow well nor did the lyrical construct hit me right. People liked it, but by that point the bar had been opened for an hour and who knows what who thought of blah. I am impressed with the crowd, though, as 70+ people showed up when the concern was that we wouldn't even break even. I really feel like Alex and Natalie are very good at driving an event, and somehow that is the most pride that I take from the trip, that I finally have seen Alex do something public and creative, and it was a success.

During intermission, Alex bought me a Jack and Coke. Being a dumbass, his next move was to make me count out 19 raffle tickets for a customer. They kept sticking together and I had to count five times just to come up with the same number twice. It was so hard and I felt embarrassed afterwards that I had to count 19 tickets in such a sloppy fashion. 

My last comments on the show will be about Alex the stand up. I was wondering what his routine would be. I assumed that he would get a tie going and tell it to me ahead of time in a very blunt fashion. However, he had been telling me the jokes all along. I just didn't realize that they were in fractions. I knew 80% of his set, so I just sat back and tried to see how the audience ate it up. Rather solid, speaking that by that point I began to wonder if I even found those jokes funny. Not because they were dated, but he has said some up to 15 times in the past few weeks.

Probably the most crucial thing is that I feel he has stage presence. He isn't necessarily all there just yet, but he controls the crowd and knows how to go with the flow. He has charisma and that alone will sell the lesser jokes. Maybe you'll see the performance later on. I feel that he is still very raw, but he is on his way to being one hell of an MC/comedian if he chooses to continue. I cannot really compare accurately, but leading up to this, there has been a whole ton of talk of Aziz Ansari's "Dangerously Delicious," which I feel definitely inspired him. 

I know that I am just brushing over Alex here, but I think that he has charisma and can ad lib pretty well. I say that sincerely. Was he perfect? No. He still is raw and sometimes succeeds more on passion than craft. However, the delivery and overall performance shows someone who at least has something to say and an interesting way of going about it. 

In an odd way, I kind of want to watch Funny People again now. In all honesty, as much as I am a devout Apatowian, I skipped This Is 40 because it just didn't look good. I feel bad, but when push came to shove and every movie was three hours, I just decided against it. I will definitely make it a priority DVD rental when it comes out. However, I also say that because I almost feel like Alex and I discovered Ansari together through that movie, and to know we both still find him great is both an achievement for him as well as us.

After tearing down and attempting to get me drunk, we left. Here's the truth. I intended to get drunk, but Alex couldn't afford to go over to the bar enough to get me drinks. I didn't get a hand stamp, so I assumed they wouldn't sell to me. Still, I drank quite a bit, but by the fact that I moved over 70 chairs into a pile along the wall perfectly is only a testament to the idea that I haven't been drunk in over two years. Woo hoo? I really wanted to make drinking special and only do it in Alex's company. It kind of failed.

Alex still had stuff to do, so he sent me home with the cameraman and the sound guy. Also, along came Violet, who was a winner of Burlesque Idol in 2012. I didn't know who was sitting in the back seat, so I initially took to where I normally sit. The sound guy cut me off and said he had a problem sitting up front. I took to the front, even though I don't necessarily enjoy it. Part of me contemplates if the sound guy haggled me out of a seat to sit next to the winner of Burlesque Idol in 2012. I almost feel that is the case, though taking his modesty into account, he may have had a slight problem.

It was very odd driving home in a car full of people I hardly knew and before leaving talked to for 20 minutes. It did feel like one of those odd Hunter S. Thompson stories where you join midway through and suddenly you're with a bunch of random strangers driving to nowhere. The countryside was long and winding and thus Violet complained for most of the ride. Not knowing the island, I had no idea where we were going, so that added to my confusion. Still, I found it funny that Violet, who is from London, complained about most of the trip because she is not used to the lack of street lights. However, at a certain point, I too was feeling like we were on our way to a brothel.

But we got home safely and that trip is just one of those amazing yet odd stories that I will take with me. Since Alex wasn't home, I just took to my room. Out of boredom, I popped on the Atonement score and initially bummed myself out. It was really good and I was beginning to realize that the trip was almost over. Also, it was almost 1:30 AM, so I didn't exactly go to bed on time. I eventually decided to say "fuck it" and began putting on dance music. Alex walked in while I was busting a move to Outkast. Somehow I got under the covers in time, but the sweaty body and heavy breath probably gave it away. 

Since I didn't really have much internet access, I cannot really share too much news other than Ellen Page is in the next X-Men movie. Not looking forward to that. I seriously don't get the X-Men. They have all the powers they need to survive. Where is the conflict? However, this will get me to watch the movie and force me to watch X-Men: The Last Stand just so I can get a double dose of X-Men Page. It does seem utterly odd that that I am gone for two weeks and suddenly Ellen Page has had more news coverage than she had in most of late 2012. 

Going to bed around 3 AM, I knew that it was going to be the last full day together, and we had to make the most of it. Coming up next... we pull an all nighter! Kind of.

QUESTION 1: What is Love Story? 

QUESTION 2: What is Antony and Cleopatra?

Day 12 (Jan. 24): Enter Natalie, Stage Right

ANSWER: Post-medieval ballads about this outlaw are the source for his companion Marian.

-Day Twelve-

Here's the unfortunate truth, if you had to chalk up anything out of today, it may be that it was the worst day of the trip. Okay, maybe the least eventful, but it was heavily because of travel. We didn't sit around doing anything fun. We were in perpetual motion. What makes it the worst is not necessarily that I don't travel a lot, but because there is no novelty. There isn't much in terms of introductory material. All it was really was a whole ton of travelling.

There isn't too much that I can share about the pre-leaving stuff besides that I packed a bag, read my Alan Sepinwall book, and waited until we left for the train. That is really the extent to my day before 3 PM. After that, it was pretty much time for us to catch the train. A bunch of school children made sure that the train was jam packed. I thought ahead and packed on a bunch of podcasts, notably the Auteurcast episodes on Panic Room and Zodiac as well as a Fresh Air interview with Lena Dunham. Halfway through that conversation, I found myself returning to that lost 20-something mindset and thinking that she was a genius. Her dialogue is just so fresh and I envy her. I want to be a contributing voice to this generation in history, but I just need to keep going.

Also, I am not telling anyone around here, mostly because of semantics, but my plan when I first get home is rather simple. Either I fall asleep, go out and have dinner and talk about my trip. Maybe hug the cat. However the first thing that I will do when everyone leaves me alone is marathon the three episodes of Girls from season two that has aired so far. Listening to that Fresh Air interview has gotten me convinced that I am missing something great. As it stands, reading online that this may be better than season one is unbelievable, because that was flawless (okay, not flawless, but you get my drift). How can they possibly top it? THAT is what I plan to do once the world leaves me alone. Sit on my bed and just watch 90 minutes of Girls. Also, I have gone the longest IN MY LIFE without watching the Simpsons. It is unnerving, really. 

If one person I feel bad for on the trip, it is Alex. Here's the thing. Since we are staying at Natalie's house, and it will be crowded, he had to bring a duvet (or a big bag with bed stuff), which in my brief time carrying it was pretty heavy. I felt bad for him and my shoulder bag-esque stuff for the few nights there pales in comparison. Also consider the compacted train, it was a tight squeeze at times and it was a pain for him to walk through the aisles. My sympathies go out to him, though he is doing all right. 

To give you an idea of the amount of time that we took public transportation, it went like this: a 90 minute train ride connected to a 60 minute train ride connected to a 20 minute train ride connected to a 20 minute boat ride to another 20 minute train ride. For anyone doubting that podcasts are the future, you must download a few and go on a super long train ride. Your sanity will thank you. 

Still, nothing eventful for most of that ride. Nothing really worth reporting about. We met Natalie in Portsmouth for the boat ride. Instead of sharing the long, dull next hour of transportation, I will just dive into a rambling on Alex. 

I am aware that Alex has had girlfriends. I have talked to a few of them and they seem like decent people. However, this may be the first one that I have met. True, Alex did date Alex B., though I question if I should count that since Alex B. and I had a developed relationship before they briefly hooked up. Anyways, I am just going to say that this is the first girlfriend that I have met of Alex's that I knew very little about. I was hoping things would go smoothly, or the next three days would be a real pain.

From what vague interaction I had with her on the rides over, she seems like a good girl. However, I must champion Alex's character. I get the sense that he cares for her just with the little things. He helps her at work and they seem to be partners in menial tasks. I get the sense that he cares and in many ways, it makes me wonder when I will actually feel like I care about someone. It sucks to think this way, but I have been alone, mostly connecting with people on an impersonal level and hoping good behavior attracts them. I am not saying my life is total abyss, but I have trouble finding someone that I want to care about. I suppose that I apply to the 1 close friend than 100 impersonal friends policy. Excuses, excuses. 

But Natalie seems nice and I cannot really find too many faults. They both seem to be responsible adults and together they make a reasonable couple. I'll stop talking, but I guess I just approve. After a dinner where I got to meet the parents, we went into her room for the next few hours and watched TV. 

We mostly flipped through music video channels. I got a crash course introduction to the pop bands of their 90's with the likes of Blue and Five. They had a bunch of stories about who was cool and who was a dick. Somehow one of the few songs that we listened to all the way through was "It's Raining Men." However, the biggest deal for me was that I finally saw the video for Ray Parker Jr.'s "Ghostbusters," which lead me to be like "What is Al Franken doing in this video?" It was quite a trip, though I still have no idea why this video had John Candy and Chevy Chase cameos (the latter of whom appeared twice). Natalie has no idea who they were, but my love of SNL cannot keep me from noticing them. 

Then we watched AKA, a channel dedicated to user submitted rap videos. Now,  I want to say upfront that while I find modern American rap to be ridiculously shallow, there is some sincerity to it that keeps it from being hilarious. Cut to British rap, notably this white guy named Devlin. He has no real flow and his baddassery was not quite that great. While I am not going to argue that England doesn't have any hoods, I doubt they compare to Detroit. Devlin was exceptionally awkward, as he had the passion, but his lyrics were just ridiculous and I had no belief that he was exactly legitimately good. There was even a video where they had screens of him performing over England's biggest monuments and it looked totally hoaky. When he said "You're being brainwashed," I couldn't help but laugh.

There was also another video. I had no idea who the artist was, but the song was "Grown Ass Man" and it only was a great punchline because the video was totally absurd. The guy was rapping about being mature and responsible, but he was doing it on a swing, in a bumper car, and for some reason flashing a Toy Story 3 Ken Doll. Also, the characters had Lego heads for no real reason. Again, lyrics were not that impressive and for once, I felt like America did something better, notably proven when Eminem's "Lose Yourself" came on. 

Before I totally write off rap music from the UK, let me note that I am wondering how things got here. I thoroughly enjoyed Lady Sovereign's "Public Warning" album, and I argue that there are definitely a few really solid other artists. For instance, the artist that I somehow consider to be the pioneer (or at very least, the first notable UK rap artist in America) is Mike Skinner aka The Streets. I consider him to be an acquire taste rhythmically, but I did enjoy songs off of his first three albums. I figured it was a good sign of England doing the genre, but without appearing to be just a clone. Also, Dizzee Rascal, who was prominently featured at the Olympics, is one that I haven't quite gotten into, but another notable name. In fact, it has been seven years since I sincerely can think of solid UK rap artists. Someone solve this so I don't think that Devlin is the only thing you guys have produced.

We also watched this show that was essentially cinematic auctions. They found antiques from movies and auctioned them off to bidders. Where it was initially chosen because Alex was into the Star Trek stuff, I got on board when I noticed a sleestak was involved. I don't know if Alex actually watched Land of the Lost, but damn, was that an exciting moment for me. I have an odd love with that show in that I will watch it if it is on, but I probably will not buy the box set. Then there was... drum roll... the Invisible Man poster, which is a really old and really rare version. I must enjoy the irony that this has now been referenced during 80% of my stay, and this time in a very, very blatant way.

It ran for $200,000, and Alex was concerned that nobody should play that much for a piece of paper. But let us note, that first off, this film is a classic of the era and that poster is gorgeous. The James Whale film with Claude Rains. Look it up. That poster is gorgeous. Alex calls that film crap, but I wonder if he is thinking of the same one that they were actually referencing. As much as I dislike the Antiques Roadshow shows, I really was into that auction for the Invisible Man poster. It is just... so... gorgeous. 

This was pretty much the rest of the night until around midnight, when we finally called it quits and I retreated to my room, which was a nice combo of a mattress on the floor with the walls being lined with dolls and figurines that definitely screamed a good hearted woman. I couldn't quite get to sleep right away, so I decided to watch Girl Walk // All Day, and I sincerely feel the warmth in that movie now. The ending is so beautiful, which is odd since I initially found it overwhelming. However, I still argue that there is gay subtext, even though it is mostly because the romance feels like it goes from being between the Girl and the Gentleman to the Gentleman and the Creep. Of course, narration goes out the window in the last 10 minutes, but dammit, I wish that the video lasted three hours. I kind of love it too much to make it to the end.

I am not even sure anymore, and I pray that this isn't just a fad. I love that film and wonder if I'll burn out on it, or if I will actually learn to embrace it as one of my all time favorites. It is entering Juno territory now with how often I have seen it: four times straight through, at least 20 not connected. In a sense, it is almost too simple of a story to really explain why it hits me so emotionally, but it is just so thrilling that I cannot stop watching it. Also, the camera work just impresses me every time. 

I'll stop with that for now. As it is, I am currently on my own in the Isle of Wight for a brief period. Why is this? Alex is helping Natalie at her shop and I would just be a nuisance there. Killing time at a cafe called Bagel Wrap. Not much really to report other than it is giving me plenty of personal time to catch up on movie news and just check  my mail. I am hoping that next week I will be able to jump on a chance to review Quentin Dupieaux's Wrong. I have been looking forward to that movie FOREVER. Also, please do yourself a favor and watch the Inside Llewellyn Davis trailer. It really justifies why I love the Coen Brothers. 

No Sundance news, and I cannot really say hello to family, as it is probably pitch black where they are. All I can do is enjoy my time with a computer. It has been a fun trip and I don't want to see it end, but at the same time, the two weeks have really shown themselves and I feel that I am almost too comfortable being abroad to the point of disbelief. This may sound redundant, sure, but I cannot believe how calming it is to be here. True, I miss the basic needs, but it is not like an internment camp. I will survive, and I have nicely. 

Tomorrow should be interesting. I have strayed from really saying it, but Natalie is putting on a burlesque gig and Alex is doing stand-up. I am hoping to enjoy it, but also concerned that somehow I will get awkwardly emotional. Provocative stuff is not really something I partake in all that much. I'm acting like this is life changing, but seriously, for someone who has trouble finding anyone appealing enough to talk to, I just wonder how things will go. Again, I will survive, but part of me feels like I will break into a "I'm more interested in how you did that" mindset. Fuck my intellect brain.

Anyways, having fun. Will continue to have fun. No need to worry about me. However, you will not stop me from naming tomorrow's entry "Where all the Wight women at?" I have seriously been keeping that in reserves since I heard about this place. 


QUESTION: Who is Robin Hood?

Day 10 (Jan. 22): "When the f**k did we get ice cream?"

ANSWER: This bluesman's first top 40 hit was 1964's "Rock Me Baby."

-Day Ten-

Today was probably the last of the glorious "We have nothing to do" days for the remainder of the trip. Wednesday would be London, Thursday would be out to see Natalie in the Isle of Wight, and by the weekend, I need to get ready to get out of here. However, as I write this, I realize just how much I cherish the lack of things to do. While the weekend and snow tampered that in an extremist sort of fashion, I do enjoy the idea of being stranded. I don't get that in California more than once every few years. Don't get me wrong, going places is essential, but there is something awe inspiring about nothingness sometimes.

Continuing my trend, I woke up before Alex and was up in my room finishing off the WTF with Marc Maron episode with Dave Grohl. Ever since I was little, I have found myself oddly fascinated  by Grohl. Maybe at first for Foo Fighters, but he just seemed to be so passionate about music. However, I still argue my favorite Grohl moment remains the Queens of the Stone Age song "Song for the Dead" in which he has that ridiculous drum opening. I don't know why, but that is my token rock star song where I grab twigs and bang pillows until I hit in time. Mind you, I only play bass. I also wrote a report on Grohl in seventh grade. He hasn't aged well with me, but I still respect him as a passionate musician.

Downstairs, we regrouped and discovered that someone named John was going to come over to visit. Who is John? For starters, he is a friend of Alex's that has spent a year in Australia. We got down to discussing what we would do when we saw him. It was assumed that we would have access to an X-Box, in which we would be playing games up in Alex's room for a very, very long afternoon. Now that sounded great. I personally didn't want to leave the house. 

Up in Alex's room, I sat on his bed while he tidied up. Cracking a window, he played me this odd band called Violent Delight that makes no sense lyrically. However, one thing that I am going to miss about this trip is being forced to watch Alex rock out to music. He is just so endearing when he does it. He is selling out to some One Direction music (that he swears is for a cover, but if that cover will ever appear is still up for discussion).

I sat reading Alan Sepinwall's book "the Revolution was Televised." To refresh everyone, I have been trying to get into film criticism notably to test my skills. Sepinwall is a big reason for that. Listen to Firewall &Iceberg and you'll understand. TV is a fascinating landscape if you know where to look. He is chronicling the most significant dramas that shaped TV of the last 25 years. I have only read 40 pages, and man, I might as well quit. He is so poetic in how he turns chapters on shows into a historical lecture mixed with significant tidbits. I learn so much.

The fact is, he knows how to write criticism about TV. I don't know the first thing, even if I do it five times a week. Of course, I try to pat myself on the back and say that one year out from film criticism for me was not exactly any more glorious than my first year of critiquing TV. Still Sepinwall clearly evokes passion and is very confident in every single syllable. I could only aspire to be him, though he also knows a ton about TV that I have no idea exists. In closing, he is so convincing as a writer that he makes Oz sound like the greatest show ever. He doesn't use hyperbole at all. It is just how he presents Oz as this risky, ground breaking show that makes you want to watch it. I'm on a chapter about the Sopranos and I cannot wait to get to Breaking Bad. This guy makes the history of TV fascinating. All I do is give the facts. I lose.

John shows up and we're back in the living room. Alex pretends that he is Tom Delonge while playing songs on an acoustic guitar. I cannot help but scream "spaceship" during the breaks to feel like a fitting tribute to where Delonge ended up. Chris disliked it, but Alex being a buffoon is still rather entertaining and man, I am beginning to realize that this is probably the thing that's going to symbolize my trip more than any film, building, or event. Alex playing guitar and singing poorly (semantics time: I only applied that to the LAST one).

John shows up and somehow my first instinct is to play Happy Birthday on guitar because that is one of 10 songs that I know how to play. Nothing phases the moment, and I am forced to get dressed. No problem. Alex and I talked about doing a snack run when John got there. I figured that discussion on hooking up games was planned out while I was gone. I was ready to just go to that store and buy some drinks and have some fun. Really, as many lazy days as we have had, we just haven't had one of those pointless lazy binge days.

We got into John's car. Already odd. We have walked to the market to buy goods many times before now. However, I just roll with it. I notice he misses the turn to the market. In fact, we are soon surrounded by trees and fields covered in snow. We are now over 20 minutes away from the market. We are possibly in another city. It is hard to tell, but the signs give me an impression that the snacks were going to have to wait.

John is a nice guy. Alex and him caught up and I just sat in the back trying to find that moment to chime in. It seemed close to impossible. I knew nothing about Australia or their relationship as chums. I was just a friend who knew John for 30 minutes before realizing we were not going to buy snacks. Also, I have this weird streak of being more of a polite funny man. I can get crass, but the amount of perverted jokes coming from the front seat of the car was intimidating, speaking it almost felt like a code that me saying "Good one, Alex" would somehow make me look like an idiot. I try to be a decent person and sound smart, but I also spend so much time being quiet that I occasionally ponder if I am just not an interesting person in comparison to someone who can talk for an entire car ride and miss the market for snacks.

We ended up in Hastings. Parked next to the beach, it was cold as hell and neither Alex nor I was really dressed for the weather. I had a jacket on, but I was still not layered enough for winds or being right next to a beach or rain. Alex was worse off, wearing close to nothing but shorts and no jacket. He also claims that he wasn't wearing underwear, but that was not seen by me, so I won't justify that with a response.

We decided to have lunch at a Wetherstones, where we had round two of a burger. Alex claims that they are good, but I still could not find reason to agree with him. To his advantage, all it took was a different combination for the actual taste to reach my mouth. I liked the results. John and Alex controlled the conversation, so I just enjoyed my burger and waited for the rest of the day to happen. We hit an arcade for one game of air hockey and then we were back out to the car.

Next we ended up at John's house. We played X-Box there. It was some basketball game that I had no idea how to play on top of never playing X-Box before. I played as the WNBA for the first time, and it may be my best round of the few that we played. Still, the highlights was that Alex, the button masher expert somehow beat everyone, and then the computer, but not without taking on grotesquely exaggerated voices and shouting "SHAQUILLE!" and "WHITE MAN!" which made sense in the context, and kept me from really focusing on the game for most of my time. I don't know what happened during that game, but it was probably the funnest thing besides actually getting snacks.

John drove us back to Rye shortly after we finished playing games. He was blasting terrible dance music and talking to Alex. The windows were fogged up pretty bad, so I was forced to have to listen to them or risk one of my sixth senses going insane. When we finally landed back at the house, we took a few moments to get our plan in orders before finally getting snacks, which persisted of Kit Kats, Doritos, and Fanta sodas. 

From there, we popped on my introductory English stand up comedian: Russell Howard. I don't know if Alex has some ulterior motive with his selection, but it seemed like he found one that I connected with quickly. While the references were oh so British, it was a lot of observational humor mixed with some crass, delusional selections that all felt authentic to the author. I worry that the show, which exceeded 80 minutes, may have suffered from my unfamiliar relationship with UK specials. Only legendary comedians who have been around in the George Carlin pantheon can dare go on for more than 80 minutes, which even then seems gratuitous. No lie, Howard can hold a crowd, even though there was a bit of filler. 

I enjoyed it quite a bit and since it is rare, I will mention that I laughed out loud quite a bit. I can only hope that Alex's next few selections can compare. Howard is really funny and I am glad that I discovered him. I'd like to say more, but I cannot think of too much at the moment. I will probably mention him often provided the other material (which I am sure will be great) resonates with me enough. Also, this bodes well with how I may perceive Alex and his stand-up, which I will be seeing soon. You'll probably hear about that shortly after, I am sure.

After an episode of Friday Night Dinner, we called it quits and I enjoyed my ongoing Auteurcast series on David Fincher with the episode on the Game. It may be subliminal, but I really want to see the Curious Case of Benjamin Button when I get home. I own it, so it won't be too hard to manage, but the amount of times that I hear "Fincher is a genius" just makes me want to watch his work over and over. Also, it reminds me that I still need to see Panic Room.

No Sundance news, as I fell asleep before I could get to it. However, random story collection from the past day. ABC has cancelled Don't Trust the B in Apt. 23, so I am simultaneously glad that I won't be too far behind in recaps and sad that I won't get to enjoy the one show that I felt had loads of potential. Also, Louis C.K. has written me (and his e-mail listers) that Louie is coming to the UK soon. Bravo! I will no longer feel like a cheat, even though I wonder if it will translate. However, with the amount of times that Alex says "cynicism," I think that it should.

Other than that, no real news stories. It wasn't much of a day besides being dragged around in John's car. In truth, it was a nice trip because I still do not understand how England's roads work. I have understood the lights for some time, but the road marks are still odd. Speaking that I have spent 95% of my transportation on a train, I haven't had to deal with drivers too often. I have gotten over the issue with different sides, but some of the road marks are still odd, and I felt like screaming "No, you're going to crash!" when he made turns. However, who has the license? The guy who was in Australia for a year. I rest my case.

Then again, will I remember how to drive when I get back to America? That is a serious question. I haven't had to touch a wheel for some time now, and while I am sure two weeks will not necessarily cause impairment, you do wonder if you are somewhat slower. At very least, I feel like if I go back to America and simple quick paced walks gets me out of breath, I need to get in shape. I am not a wreck, but damn does the cold mess with me in times of a rush.

I will try to get my experience in London to you before I leave for the Isle of Wight. Alex has no idea what is happening with that, and I have failed to compensate with plans. Hopefully expect it very soon, but otherwise, I will try to get it to you ASAP. I will admit that the lack of internet connection in public here has forced me to be observant. That is one pro for printed media. You don't need wifi. You just need someone to pay attention.  

QUESTION: Who is B.B. King?

Day 8 (Jan. 20): Pub Crawling

ANSWER: This president's second inaugural address was 135 words long; he had us at "Fellow citizens."

-Day Eight-

Today's entry will open with an honest question. What do YOU know about snow? As a person who has spent most of his life in California, that is a very mythic question. I have travelled to mountains and even back east, but what significant exposure to snow have I really had? The answer is an abysmal, empty number. I have no idea what snow is outside of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, both films and even the books (though the books are more responsible for why I believe all of Europe is made out of IKEA furniture). 

The day started off like most of them. I woke up, got ready, and was ready to seize the day. Another cooked breakfast and everything was ready for another fun day. However, what is great is knowing how the world stops for snow in England. The country is notoriously unprepared for snow, and thus the trains come to a halt and schools are cancelled, all because of a little bit of whiteness. It seems odd, as I live in the land where the only thing that will shut down a school is a busted pipe that floods classrooms. That is rare, so I am pretty used to only missing school when the teacher is depressed (really, that is my English 60 teacher in a nutshell). 

But it was also a lesson in proper wear. I don't have the clothes necessary for snow. Okay, I have the pants and jacket combo, but how long was I going to last outside of that? My puny shoes could hardly soak in all of the wet, cold ground. I had to layer socks, and even that seemed oddly ill prepared. I ended up having to wear boots, including one that featured a pinch towards my calf.

I was wearing enough clothes to be a small tank. Eventually, Alex and I walked outside and started heading to the park. The green was now converted to white and for someone who hasn't seen snow in person, it was amazing to see an endless mile of snow in all directions. One of the first things that happened was that Alex taught me how to roll a ball of snow. However, I argue that my gloves immediately made my product so poor that I made an oval more than a ball. Yet, this lead to a snow fight that saw just how a mix of physicality and weather can exhaust me. I am trying to figure out if it is the snow or my figure that is really being worn out by this visit.

He even recorded some footage of me. I made a snow angel that looked more like the hazard signs that you see on chemical barrels. No head at all. Still, the feeling is amazing to be surrounded by that much snow. I think that I expressed genuine joy when we just started having a war over who had better aim. Oddly, I am better at hand eye coordination than I give myself credit for. In most shots, I hit where Alex told me to. Other times, I just hit his crotch. However, he was aggressive and always managed to kick me when I was down. Those balls came at my face so frequently that I couldn't even see. I even rolled a few yards after Alex started an assault. Snow is amazing, and it makes violence into a Rated G game that just melts away in seconds. It is so addictive and while I still don't like getting hit in the face, it is just so much fun. I wish that I had more exposure to it. I eventually took my gloves off to try my hand at a real ball, and those proved that my gloves were shit for rolling a proper ball.

It is also something to walk in snow. it is like walking on bubble wrap. Every step is another crack towards the ground. You see the remnants of your footstep and the clicking noise is just as fun. It is like destroying a white carpet at times. So beautiful and while it really disables the amount of steps that you can take at a stride, it has a nice cadence to it.I almost didn't mind walking slower just to enjoy walking in the snow.

After a quick stop back at the house, we met up with Viv and Chris, who were adamant on taking me to the Mermaid. Instead of talking about a boring walk, I will just go into the basics. It is a really old pub that predates a rebuilding in the 1400's. People ranging from Shakespeare to Michael Caine have stayed there. The houses across the way all have odd names, including "The house with two doors." There is an endearing novelty to those names, and it almost makes you realize that the houses were THAT old that they could afford to be the generic names because, well, there wasn't anything else that could be called "The house with two doors."

So, what do I get? A coke. In an odd turn of events, I am in a city that has a large bar per capita for England (from what I know, Halifax, Canada owns the highest bar per capita in the world (thanks, Ellen Page)) and I have been slowly being introduced to what seems like every single one of them. What is odd is that even away from the restrictive environment where drinking will not affect my day at.all, I still order a soda at every single place. It is crazy to think that I am not taking this opportunity to try liquors, but you know what... I am breaking every stereotype imaginable. What are YOU doing by ordering beers?

I mostly say this not as a running gag, but as the truth. Everyone has wondered why I have not been fascinated by the architecture. Why am I fascinated by the dumb, subtle stuff? Here's the thing. You go to art galleries expecting the classics. They are just as good as you expect. Sometimes the efforts and cultural significance are ignored because they all are high quality art pieces. Do you know Donatello? Michaelangelo? Leonardo? Can you tell them apart after staring at them for 20 minutes? Only enthusiasts can. Read my life story. I like beautiful things, but at no points am I necessarily the building enthusiast. This isn't to say that I don't enjoy these layouts, but seeing them in rapid succession is just impossible to stop and say "yes, this is a brilliant piece of craftsmanship." Only when you throw yourself into something does that really become more than a survey of British culture. As for the mundane things. It is like picking up the tidbits about the exhibition hall and understanding how it is different from your house.

Still, if one place yells of luxurious looking stuff, it is the Mermaid. There's rooms dedicated to popular English figures like Dr. Syn. The place looks really nice, old school, and runs on gas powered fires.It also has the most authentic fireplaces that I have seen of the pubs. Most of the other ones seemed to be boxed up holes in the wall compared to an entire wall that was reserved for burning wood.

I continued to get a tour of Rye, via Viv and Chris. We went down an alley where they had a barber called... Alley Barber. Easily the height of puns. Almost all puns in comparison are shit. Dumb statement, but it is funny because it is true. Also, I finally got everyone to point out that they wish that I could stay longer so that they could convert me to a fine British man with manners and Alex's favorite word: cynicism. I am not entirely sure why that word has been at the height of conversation as of late (almost as much as the Invisible Man references, which has only missed one day so far). I also saw a player piano at the Standard that featured a roll sheet for the "Paint Your Wagon" song. They said that it will probably be the thing that I remember most from that trip. Well, at least I'll remember them saying that. I also enjoy that I derailed a conversation about Lincoln unintentionally into talking about family. I still don't know if Viv knows my thoughts on the film.

We had dinner at the table, which is odd, considering that I was beginning to think that Americans and British people were similar to their irregular familiarity with eating on a piece of wood. I have been eating off of a tray-like pillow for most of my stay. Add in some candles and Alex throwing out migraine-inducing, cheesy jokes, and you kind of get the height of the dinner conversation. We even got conversation in about my dinner life as well as school. In a way, it is funny for Viv to think that I gave up on school, though if you knew me a year ago, you might as well assume so. 

The rest of the night was spent in Alex's room watching the height of British TV. I apologize ahead of time that I will be jumping to earlier in the day for part of this. There is just some odd, fascinating differences about the sitcoms. In fact, shows that I never have heard about are now quickly entering my recommendations list for when I get back to the states. Before you accuse me of being a pro-everything, do know that I have some complaints to follow.

First up is Fresh Meat, which I guess is an hour-long comedy (I say that because I felt odd when the episode began getting into 35-minute territory). It is about a bunch of house mates living together, and it felt very much like "their" Community. You had the oddball collective interacting together in a college setting. Part of my viewing was obstructed by me writing, but I noticed that Jez from Peep Show was in an episode, which immediately made me excited (I love that Alex didn't think I would get Peep Show when I consider it to be one of the best shows that I've seen in recent years). 

Okay... too much sidetracking. Here's the thing about Fresh Meat. I don't hate it, but besides the hour-long format (which feels odd for a comedy, even though that is MY problem) makes it feel like there is some filler. However, I did enjoy moments from the two episodes that I saw. Then there was the distinctly British aspects. A lot of characters talking in rhyme and doing rather peculiar things all felt very British. Not enough to say "this is bad," but in my brief time here, watching a lot of Fresh Meat is probably not going to be high on my priorities. It is enjoyable, but I feel like some cultural aspects are lost on me. I may revisit it eventually just to see if the obligatory introduction episode was just a little bit... off for me.

Pete Vs. Life was next in line, and I felt like this was the most gimmicky thing that I have seen so far. It wasn't even because it was British. This show reminds me of an episode of the Drew Carey Show in which two guys pine for a woman in a faux sports show format with two announcers commenting the whole time. In fact, I argue that the Sklar Brothers would make a stock, yet interesting American replacement of the announcers characters. 

However, it felt too much like "Pete had an encounter like THIS with this girl, and it did not go well," "Indeed you're right. Let's show some playback!" I don't even know if it could work for sports fans, but it felt like they had to stretch the premise in order for the humor to be derived. It wasn't terrible, and in fact had an episode full or quirky ideas, but still felt like it was too reliant on certain devices for the humor to really come from a place of fun.

Then there was Friday Night Dinner, which may be my second favorite show discovery on this trip. The premise is in the title. A family gets together for dinner on Fridays, and wacky stuff happens. Hilarity ensues. Yadda, yadda, yadda. However, as obvious as the format is and as often as the show features certain comedy points every time, I think that it is brilliant. I don't see it lasting very long, but the simplicity and the show's brief seasons will probably keep it from every running out of breath. I'd say that there needs to be more shows like this, but then I would immediately regret that. However, I just love how ridiculous things get. This show knows what it is going for, and succeeds. 

From what I know, there is an American remake in the works with Allison Janney, and I am not enthused now. First off, this show is great at 7 episode seasons. American seasons are three times as long and I cannot see it lasting more than a season it if plans to withstand quality. So no, I am not digging that idea. However, if it gets BBC America to play reruns of it, I will be more than on that.

The night ended with Alex rocking out to music. I honestly forgot what it sounded like to live with music enthusiasts. Loud tunes that made me fear that someone would come in and say "shut up!" Also, Alex's enthusiasm and constant rocking out just make me believe that he rocks in his sleep. I am such the party pooper. I was just watching him from the bed and thinking that I was not contributing much to the party. He even filled up time with stories and dancing, which make me believe that he is at very least passionate enough to win any air guitar competition that comes his way (mind you, he plays a decent guitar guitar, too).

I pretty much called it a night not too long after. I started the recent WTF with Marc Maron, but sleep wasn't too long after. The interview with Dave Grohl had to wait until morning. No real Sundance coverage procured. However, I did find that James Ponsoldt was doing his next film with Mary Elizabeth Winstead. They worked together on last year's brilliant Smashed and even though I don't know anything about it, I believe that they could work together until Winstead gets an Oscar nomination. I still argue that Smashed deserved her a nomination.

Still putting it out there, any leads to Sundance coverage, let me know. Otherwise, another excellent day and the simple sight of snow is enough to make this one of the better in-house days that we have had. You sometimes forget that you rode a train while in England, because I hadn't been on one since Thursday. I found it quaint that the trains were cancelled for the weekend, as if weather works on the same schedule as the working commuters do.

Tomorrow should be fun. I talk about Django Unchained and other fun stuff, like the Presidential Inauguration that I missed. However, it only reminds me that January 20th was America's  birthday. She is a girl I used to know and kind of wish that I still did. I know her birthday well because it correlates with the inauguration very well. To sum it up, she was a light of optimistic conversation during a rather cynical period of my life. I don't feel like I fully acknowledged it until after we faded apart, but I still often wonder what she is up to and think that she is doing very well. She always seemed like she would be a succeeder. 

I don't do it often, but she is one of those people I think back fondly on and wish that I still talked to. Most people from high school, I am fortunately glad to be rid of. They seemed like they were fine people, but inessential to my life. America was not quite that. She was a prominent part of Alex's last trip to Long Beach, which I feel clings this together and keeps it from being a total tangent. I am sure that I could attempt to contact her with some success, as we never had bad blood between us, but at the same time, I feel like maybe she could perceive me as inessential as I do some of my high school friends. Then again, that is my fear kicking in.

She is an excellent person, and I want to wish her a happy birthday, even if she doesn't read this. I miss you and I sometimes feel like you were one of the best friends I had, if just because you gave me hope as well as reason to see Sex and the City 2 at midnight (shut up, it is a good show, but those movies sucked). I'll stop now, but hope you are doing well. Adios.

QUESTION: Who is George Washington?

Day 7 (Jan. 19): "Snow is falling all around. 7 o'clock and the roads are blocked."

ANSWER: In order to cut wind resistance, a cyclist may use this air pocket to draft on another rider, saving about 30% of his energy.

-Day Seven-

After unceremoniously falling asleep after loading a bunch of videos to watch on my iPod, I noticed that it was about 6:40 AM. Quite an improvement over yesterday's 5 AM, which began kicking in early in the afternoon. Still, too early to assume that anyone was up. I connected my iPod to the charger, sat on the floor, and killed a morning with plenty of Sundance coverage from Matt Patches and Katey Rich, the next Stargrove Vlog, and Operation Kino. After a shower, I had another one of those bland realizations that I was up well before the world was. Instead of worrying people with the possibility of waking up in the six o'clock hour, I just called it seven, which sounds better on the resume.

For those that skipped out on yesterday's blog, I figured that I would inform you that it snowed. In reality, according to the natives, it isn't an impressive blanket of snow, but enough to make me excited. However, Alex lusted for a heavier blanket of snow just to show me how much more beautiful it was. Also, Viv is getting concerned that I am not staying warm. For anyone that sympathizes with her cause, do know that I wear layers and am staying fairly warm.

However, because of the snow, today was just going to be a simple day. Get up, walk around town, and hopefully find something nice to look at. After a very uneventful morning in which we watched a documentary about the IRA invading England (which lead to a history of modern English bombings as told by Viv), we set out to see what Rye covered in white snow looks like. As of this writing, I will say that today's weather makes it look wimpy, but I did like the idea that snow covered the grass out on Pedo Point. Alex, being the tourist, took pictures of EVERYTHING covered in snow. Reminder, today's blanket of snow is going to look much more gorgeous.

We stopped along the way to look at shops, including a place where I discovered what Bath Bombs are. I still am not entirely sure what they are, but after a morning of IRA conversations, I could only think it was a literal bomb in your bath. I am assuming it involves an explosion of aroma. We also met Viv's friend Jack. Alex messed with merchandise in her store, claiming that the signs said that they were available to try out. It was a fun day, though the amount of time spent looking at haberdashery was a little gratuitous. Oh, the lengths that you go to impress family.

We stopped by the church as well. This time, we walked around the ground level, in which I discovered one considerable culture difference. Signs are in English, German, and French. Quite odd to walk everywhere and not see something in Spanish, but this dynamic makes much more sense. Besides the Germans at the airport, I haven't had too much experience with foreign languages over here. I must admit that after being surrounded by a Spanish speaking public in Long Beach, I do kind of mix that culture shock, even though the British culture is already "shock" enough. The first few days were quite an adjustment and I feel like I am finally getting to that point where I can enjoy everything. Not to say that I haven't already, but it takes awhile to accept that you are even in a different country when you are staying in a village that may have a novelty version back at home.

The church was nice and Alex went about taking pictures. After awhile, we took to sitting around just taking it in. A brief chat about religion later, we had to leave to meet up with Viv at the Apothecary. Oddly, I forgot that Apothecary and phrenology were related, so I was wondering why diagrams were on display. Also, it was a trip to see the ceiling covered in comics. At this point, it is hard to really judge architecture, as most pubs here look too similar to really say specificity. I mostly judge by employee service, and even that is expectedly pleasant.

We just sat around talking. We discovered that Viv doesn't know how to take pictures on a touch screen phone. There briefly existed pictures of me in a very candid manner. I even got to hear Alex's entire story about how he fainted on a plane. Not quite what I was expecting, but it did eat up a lot of time and was rather amusing to hear the new facts arise. We planned the next few days and eventually said adios to head back to the house.

On the way back, we stopped by this art gallery that had a pretty odd picture. It featured a shot of Tintin from the waist up without a shirt on. I felt it sexualized the boy reporter and therefore was a little on the pedophile side. We eventually talked to the employee about it, and we discussed what his age could be. We agreed that it was homoerotic, but until we figured out what Tintin's age was, I was convinced it was just wrong. I cannot find the picture online, and I don't care to share what the search results were. They are just sicker than this artist's intent on making the subject romanticized in a naked fashion.

Back at the house, it was a pretty lazy rest of the day. Besides a trip back out to get guitar and bass strings, I cannot really think of too much else that we did. I sat around with Alex while he cleaned and restrung a guitar discussing why I got into playing bass. The reality is that I began playing it because I perceived bass players as shy. Correlation was quickly realized. Also, guitar just feels overdone. 

It is amazing how much sensory skills came back to me immediately following my hands landing on the bass. I was playing every riff that I could. It was one of the odd few things that I missed having around. Alex promises that we'll jam eventually, so I am excited to see what happens with that. 

The night ended with Alex and I going up to his room to Skype with family. The only problem is that his connection to his TV resulted in a misfire. We could see ourselves on the TV and the family on the smaller screen. It was somewhat of a nuisance, as I didn't want to look at myself for the duration of the conversation.

Still, Alex took the grunt work, acting very silly and presenting jokes after jokes. Somehow that conversation lasted three hours. In some ways, it was great seeing the family again, even though it got to the point where it felt like it was a game of "No, you hang up first" with Anna. I got to see the cats and even find out more about the Golden Globes and how repair to my car was going. It is weird, but my dad has been more successful in actually doing things when I'm not around. I'll give him the benefit of free reign of the car, but still, it is funny that he finally found time when I am not there. 

The one surprise was that I wasn't hounded with questions. I expected "how was this?" It was odd that more effort was put into me finding out how the Golden Globes went than me discussing my trip at any great length of detail. I tried to, but it just felt like nobody cared to know. That didn't bother me, but you expect that in the precious time that you have in direct contact with people that they would be somewhat overbearing about some things. In bluntest terms, everyone is doing great, and apparently I am going to be in top shape when I get back.

I killed the night in my room listening to the Auteurcast on Alien 3 and trying not to fall asleep. However, I succeeded on one front. I was finally going to bed at a normal hour. Yes, midnight feels more appropriate than 9:30 PM. Here's to hoping that I have officially found the short cut to the sleeping problems and will be on easy street from here on out.

And now, for my obligatory Sundance from Britain report. Ellen Page is there promoting Touchy Feely and I dislike myself for missing it. I have seen pictures on Tumblr, and I am thinking that she is looking better than she has in a few years. Not saying anything, but she did look a little sick last year. Still.. you cannot help but feel like you could have been in the same room as Page, thus meeting one of my dreams. I'll probably see more when the East starts getting covered. However, good reviews so far, so I am excited for that film. Also, if anyone has any hook ups to more Sundance coverage, please share. I am too fascinated and want to discover more, more, more.

Also, from what I have heard, Joseph Gordon Levitt's Don Jon's Addiction is a little bit of a disappointment. I was excited to see it succeed, but I am finding that misogyny is ruining a fair share of interesting projects. Besides JGL's film, it ruined A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III (which has been posted on CinemaBeach). It bums me out that JGL's directorial debut isn't quite up to snuff, but Katey Rich assures me that the direction is pretty good, so I think we're looking at a talented young fellow, like, say, Ben Affleck.

So, it is snowing here and we're about to walk around town and look at everything. Also, I PROMISE you that pictures will be posted within an hour after this post. No lies. I will attempt to publish them by dates, but train stations sometimes blur together. So yeah, another snow day to enjoy a nice lazy weekend with Viv, Chris, and Alex. I do fear about next week, as the BBC News revealed that over 115 flights were delayed because of conditions. In a sense, I am contempt with the weather fucking with the program, as it is something you don't get in busy Los Angeles. Slowing down is a nice change of pace. 

QUESTION: What is a slip stream?

Day 6 (Jan. 18): Supermarket Fantasy

ANSWER: Often called the race of truth, it can be for the whole team or just one cyclist against the clock.

-Day Six-

As it has been established, I fell asleep very hard at 8 pm last night. I  have  no idea what happened in the last conscious 10 minutes of my night, but when I woke up, I had an odd daze where I looked around the room, almost forgetting that I had taken up space in Alex's. It was only made more trippy because he had on a red lava lamp that seemed to accentuate the room in an eerie, humdrum fashion that almost made me feel like his room was exotic. Since I didn't care to figure out where the light switch was, I just accepted that the light would be this way for the remainder of my stay.

However, an 8-5 sleep is pretty impressive, and I got enough sleep. Enough to the point where I realized that getting back to sleep was impossible. Of course, things were only made more interesting by the fact that my iPod was charging in the other room, which was currently procured by the other guest, Bill. It would make no sense to go down there and grab the music player without seeming somewhat voyeuristic. 

I was left with my phone, and since it got connection to the internet, I tried to use it diligently, but ended up going overboard. Reading was no longer satisfying me, so I decided to start watching videos. Of course, the most enjoyable part was when I discovered that the Hives did a video for "Abra Cadaver." It was an old school throwback to horror films, and for all the ingenuity that was put into it, my favorite part was when the guitarist just slid across the floor as if on a moving device. Millions of videos do that, but as usual, I seem to admire the little things.

After a little Girl Walk // All Day and catching up with everyone back home, I noticed that my phone was wiped. I was also going mad, as I was now up in the room for two hours with very little to do. It was getting closer to a reasonable hour, so I decided to take a shower. It oddly featured a couple turns of the door knob from outside, but even that wasn't enough. When I got out and downstairs, it was almost 8 and everyone was still asleep. I didn't feel like going back up the stairs, so I just walked around looking at stuff in their house. I didn't fondle anything, but with an indefinite amount of free time, I could justify looking at every picture with a fine eye.

I eventually gave up and sat on the couch where I petted the cat and waited for the world to wake up. Chris was the first one up and about, and after mistaking me for Alex through a conversation in the dark, he revealed that we were having a cooked breakfast. Sausage, eggs, beans, and pancakes. It was quite good and also kind of a relief to have the world waking up. I don't understand how people can have problems sleeping if there is nothing to do at 5 AM. It was a trip that I had been up four hours before everyone came down complaining about sleep. In fact, this trip is odd solely because I rarely go to bed before midnight and now I have seemed to make a routine out of it.

We started the day off simple by watching some videos that Chris found online. I think it was from the Annex or something. He first showed me a video of this Australian group called Axis of Awesome that took every song written on four chords and made a medley out of it. It was pretty impressive. We also watched a video of this guy miming to Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn," which was only made better by the man's facial expressions throughout the entire event. It also got to discussion of other comedians that I will be introduced over the remainder of my stay. I  have no idea what they're called, so I apologize.

I also discovered that through the back door of the house, a cat came in. Not the two that live here, but just one with a bushy tail that was intensely adorable. It was almost heartbreaking to part with it as the snow came down and we had to get a move on. It also got me thinking about how different cats are in the states. I am not saying that all are like this, but animals tend to be very defensive where I am from. They won't let just anyone near them unless they sense that you are harmless. So far, I haven't met a cat that just walked up to me and wanted attention. I first noticed it last time when pigeons refused to fly away when I got close. No matter how much I chased them, they were more contempt with walking near me than flying off from yards away.

We were eventually on our way to Kent to do some grocery shopping. Being from Long Beach, I still am finding it revolutionizing that people can drive great distances without a stop light. It was the same in Arizona. Sure, you had stop signs, but for an extensive drive, there was only one light. I know that it was the country side essentially, but it was weird that it was just a long, winding road that seemed to be fortressed with trees. I also discovered that Paul McCartney and Johnny Depp have homes in the general vicinity and Rod Stewart used to own one a long time ago. 

Also, just to contrast cultures, I have heard a story about Depp a few times. For Halloween, he went incognito as a postal worker. The next day, everyone commented about how the new postman looks an awful lot like Johnny Depp. That is way more entertaining than hearing that people stopped him and questioned who he was. which feels very American, or just Californian.

Once we got to Kent, more interesting things came up. They have limited parking in their supermarket parking lot. This is made noticeable by security cameras that record the moment you arrive and then it is up to you to get out of there within two hours. Maybe it is the extensive amount of time in grocery stores, but it made me think that we basically were going to go straight there and spend 40+ minutes looking at stuff. I am not that way, but I feel like stereotyping customers, especially since we were buying a lot of stuff.

But we went to the nearby shopping area where Alex and I split up from the group, which also featured Chris, Viv, and our driver for the day, Bill. It was pretty much a day to try and catch up on the loose ends of my presents list to family. I won't spoil if anything was bought, but I did see a lot of interesting stuff that could possibly be coming home with me. Also, we stopped in at a local book store where I learned a few things. Alex is way into choose your own adventure books, he thinks that there will be another Scott Pilgrim series (as a consistent follower of Bryan Lee O'Malley, I am still challenging him to prove it), that there is a novel adaptation of Dawn of the Dead, and I have not read any Kurt Vonnegut. In a way, I felt like a bad person with that last one. 

Plenty of interesting shops were visited and I even got a picture inside a phone booth for good measure. However, by this point, I was finally introduced to snow. I haven't seen snow since I was a young kid, so this was quite a treat. Also, the only places that I really get cold are in the cheeks, nose, and hands. A hood combated most of it, but the hands were still an issue. I brought it up with Viv when I next ran into her. She oddly had a pair on her, so she gave them to me. Somehow, all of this weather gear feels strange, as in California, it feels excessive. But here, I cannot imagine time with out it.

After Alex finished a really flat strawberry soda that he called a liquor, we headed over to the supermarket, which was called Tesco. I was excited to see what the interior looked like. Outside, it was practically the same layout, save for an elaborate area to put carts that featured a large overhead. I get that it probably has to do with the weather, but it still blew my mind how inconspicuous it tried to look.

Inside, it immediately reminded me of Wal Mart. it  had a very warehouse feel to it. However, that is just because the ceiling and lighting have this aura that makes it feel like everything was shoved in there as opposed to properly placed. The layout isn't too impressively different and not worth going into detail about. The aisles are longer and don't split down the center, which is the only significant difference. Alex even showed me the area where they had DVDs on discount, which wasn't all that impressive, though makes you wonder about his sanity when he calls the Paul Verhoven Total Recall really bad and Wrath of the Titans anything but unnecessary. I am not even calling that cultural differences. I am just saying that the 90's Total Recall in his algorithm is improperly placed and should never be below Wrath of the Titans in any spectrum.

The checkout lines were the more impressive. I let Viv take care of the grunt work and I just stood and looked over the entire store's layout. For starters, I hadn't heard an intercom request assistance for anything. People bagged their own groceries in plastic bags (though they were being advertised as reusable), and most impressively, the cashiers actually had chairs to sit on.

If you want to hear people bitch about the grocery business, just talk about the chairs at the check stand. That is a very personal subject. We don't have it in the states no matter where I go. However, 100's of hours of being a bagger has given me time to listen to people complain about their feet/back hurting. Yet they cannot have chairs because the customers would find that they are lazy and other complex reasons like that. I am not saying that chairs for the entire duration is the goal, but as a bagger, who has had to be on his feet for eight hour shifts, I am aware that the human body isn't always prone to being pristine after moving around in very limited quarters. The checkers more-so, as they are not allowed to leave their check stand lest they are doing floor work, and in most cases, nobody is allowed to do that before five.

So the chairs is a revolutionary idea. I get where the complexity would come from, speaking as the baggers would be heavily handicapped by not having chairs, but the checkers are a different story. I sympathize with the desire for them to just rest their feet once in awhile, and sometimes breaks are not enough. I am not about to start a revolution, but for those that really want to know, chairs are the most ground breaking aspect of my visit.

Also, as I left, I noticed that the Tesco sign had open hours posted by the entrance. That is also quite something, as it is Monday through Saturday 8 AM to 10 PM and on Sundays 10 PM to 4 PM. I admit that convenience for us would be sacrificed in that, but being open 6 AM to 11 PM just really, really, really makes you jealous. I am not saying that the overall service of the trip is superior, but it felt like they were somewhat successful in creating an apt working environment. I suppose the only issue is that employees would be complaining about the need for more hours. 

Back at the house, I finally got to see what a ground covered in snow looked like. If the place wasn't very rural and had cars going every which way, I would be happy to just get down and snow angel everything. As it stands, I am so tempted just to spend the snowed in time walking around Rye to see what a city covered in white looks like. For a boy from Southern California, this is somehow also revolutionary.

It is odd that in my stay, I have found the simple things more exciting than the buildings and landscapes. The stone beaches, the chairs, the snow. You don't get those where I'm from. It almost feels novelty. I also talked to Viv, who was concerned that the trip wasn't meeting my standards. I pretty much have stated many times, many ways that I just got on the plane and that was the end of my plans. I just wanted to see Alex and do something fun with him. So far, I would say that it is going great. I also find it weird that when we do go touristy, I end up being overwhelmed and tired. However, when I see snow outside my window, I am thrilled. Go figure. Hopefully it doesn't hold up seeing Django Unchained in the next week somehow.

The night wasn't that much more exciting. We finished off season one of Threesome, and I found one episode exceptionally hilarious. Also, this is mostly in terms of sitcom filming, I was rather impressed with the way one sequence with a merry-go-round was shot that almost seemed to be more artistic than the scene needed to be. Overall, I am just really digging this show and I want to see where it goes.

The night wasn't eventful, as I ended up having dinner and almost crashed immediately. I tried to hold up until 10 PM in order to fix my sleeping routine. However, I made it to 9:30 before I was told by Alex to just go to bed. I decided that it was a great time to catch up on Sundance coverage, which was officially starting that day. I was about to watch Katey Rich and Matt Patches' video log on day one. I had it already to go. Somehow, I ended up falling asleep right as the page was loading. It drained my battery, but gave me plenty to watch this morning. So far, I am now convinced that Crystal Fairy is one of my anticipated films of the year. Michael Cera doing drugs in Chile? Yes please. Also, I have seen shots of Ellen Page there with the Touchy Feely crew and now I am kicking myself because she actually is there. 

Though don't get me wrong, I would regret if I chose that over seeing Alex. True, it does little to forward my career, but I think the time away has done me good. Just finding new things to appreciate is enough to make this trip successful. I think I just needed contrast in my life. I still have no idea what happened when I went to Brighton that made me overwhelmed, but having a slow day after that really put me in my place. 

Side note, expect a review on CinemaBeach from me on A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III. I was expecting to write that up before I left, but I ended up doing it last night all here. Now the question is, did I like the idea of that movie better than Gangster Squad? I am really having trouble determining which of the two is the best film of 2013 so far. I would say that John Dies at the End would be it, but I still consider that a 2012 released based solely on VOD release. Of course, that review may not pop up for awhile, depending on how much more important Sundance coverage is, which I am sure will be more significant for the next week or two. It will be up eventually.

Another slow day, and I promise to try and get the pictures up soon. I am also going to be calling family back home today. We have some interesting developments in the process, so I will be excited to hear about those. Also, I hope to hear from Tiger. I miss that cat. Anyways, I hear breakfast calling my name, and hopefully this is a start to a day where I am not out of sync after a few days of early to rise and early to bed. In fact, I'll leave you with a quote:

"Early to rise and early to bed leaves a man physically rested, but socially dead."

-Yakko (Rob Paulsen) in Animaniacs

QUESTION: What is a time trial?