The 2013 UK Trip Retrospective

Why did it take close to a week to write a retrospective on the trip? In all honesty, I believe that a trip's significance can't fully be realized until you have to adjust from it. Sure, you get off the plane and sit around your house a few days adjusting to sleep, but it isn't until you have to adjust to normal life that you begin to think about the good times and just why the trip could be seen as a necessity. A rather expensive one, but nonetheless, a necessity. In a sense, it is like recovering from a hangover and trying to figure out why you drank in the first place. Hopefully it was for the memories.

The odd feeling that I have developed over the past few months is this odd connection to Joaquin Phoenix's character in the Master. It isn't the broad scope that I feel like I am being manipulated, but there is the sense of not quite understanding the world around you. In England, I felt that at a higher ratio, though for really obvious reasons. If you see the film and try and piece together the relativity, it will not make entire sense. Just know that I feel like Phoenix embodied a desire to find direction, but never quite found a reason to follow anyone but himself. As dumb as it sounds and as much as I try not to make everything about movies in my life, that is how I felt at times. No ifs, ands, or buts. 

But let's move on. This feels reductive. Let us start with the post and eventually move into the pre. The last that everyone heard, I was arriving in Los Angeles, bored out of my mind and just wanting to find stimulants. I was even worried that I couldn't drive a car properly from being disconnected for so long. In fact, the following day wasn't exactly a cake walk like I hoped. I was too aware that the world was moving, and I needed to catch up. In fact, I was heading out to see Zero Dark Thirty at least four times just to come to the conclusion that I needed to buy school books, or even give my sister a call. There were things to do, and I ended up spending that day catching up on loose ends. That is, before abusing David's Taco Tuesday and going to his house for dinner and watching Aziz Ansari's "Dangerously Delicious" (seriously, it was his idea). 

I have honestly felt odd about the lack of attention that has been surrounding my trip. With exception to a few short hurrahs, the talk faded. It was partially because I just have a sloppy way of slowly displaying interesting. At least I think I do it for show, but I don't know why. I expected big dinners and to be the center of attention. I was, but for a brief window. Then it was time for everyone to get ready for another day of work and me to figure out how I was going to catch up on close to 10 TV recaps as well as school.

However, the significance of the trip didn't really settle in until that Wednesday when I went into work. It was a throwaway, four hour shift. As I was bagging, I immediately noticed the physical and mental changes. While I have long stopped associating cynicism with my daily grind, I noticed a certain level of calm that made things almost too lackadaisical. I worry that the trip made me lazy, but my hand-eye technique wasn't really bothered. It was slower, and I wasn't in a rush anymore. There was this calming peace over me, and I felt... optimistic. True, Sunday rolled around and the Super Bowl picked up business, but I just haven't felt the overpowering sense of focus that I used to have. I still work hard and mutter bad things, but not at such a disaffected rate as I used to.

On another note, I am looking back on stuff that I have written during that time, and I must admit that I captured the trip nicely. That is besides the cursing. Now, I know that I am not as bad as I used to be, but almost every time I got on Facebook, I threw out a casual swear, and it makes me laugh. It wasn't a mean curse. Just a casual swear. Either that means that I loosened up, or I have resorted to that level of prose again.

If you want me to put a face to the people that I referenced a lot during my stay, these two people are the Katey Rich and Matt Patches that I referenced in terms of Sundance coverage almost every day (I don't know the legality to cropping a photo from their videos, but do know that I do not own it and you can watch it here). They have given me so much optimism for the year as I discover more and more that I probably will not be seeing any big tent pole releases this year (that's right, you Star Trek, X-Men, and Iron Man sequels). However, I will have a few to keep an eye out for. Thanks so much. My cohorts at CinemaBeach also did coverage, though as a devout Operation Kino listener (do those exist?), I also really respect these guys opinions and may be the one shining hope on me being in my 20's and wanting to pursue film journalism.

Same spiel here. I do not own these videos. You can watch them here.

Yes, I do have a growing love for everything Anne Marsen, and her choice to record daily Vlogs with her boyfriend in lieu of filming a music video was also opportune in timing. While I do not feel that they are necessary to anyone who doesn't already care, they have kept me entertained and again, just an inspiration for me to keep going. Yadda yadda yadda. Basically, I want to get into smaller talents this year, and if you haven't seen Girl Walk // All Day despite all my complaining. Please do. Going on three months of obsession here. If anything, I get a better sense of who Marsen is as a performer and while that means nothing really, well, those lonely hours in a bedroom overlooking the Queen's Head were made slightly more entertaining. And yes, I do kind of adore her still.

Now that I have all of that out of the way, I just want to say that I am doing fine. I am a little behind because of the trip, but in the end, I feel like it centered me better. As it stands, my proposed year book has actually had an increase in development since my return with daily notes and a slightly more optimistic bent that this can actually happen. I do not know that my creativity is up, but I am centered back to at least thinking in that way. I am happy about that.

Now to get back to my thoughts on the actual trip. Do I feel like I benefited at all from the experience? For the most part, yes. I went over with little intention besides seeing Alex, and that was far surpassed. I rode public transportation, went to a burlesque show, and enjoyed the wonders of contemporary British culture.

Mind you, I must warn you that a quick search of Threesome via Google is a little bit pornographic. So instead of leading everyone astray, I figured that this photo will at least give you an idea of what it looks like. I must admit that I am not entirely sure why that is the show of everything (Friday Night Dinner, Pete vs. Life, Black Books, Fresh Meat) that I clung to most, but I really dig it and have only a few gaps to fill before I have seen the entire series. At very least, I must say that I enjoy having the stereotype of British sitcoms broken by actually proven that there is more than Rowan Atkinson in World War II garb. I know that there is plenty of modern UK humor out there, but I don't see a lot of it because it just isn't commercial enough. Also, Russell Howard is pretty funny.

I know, I am spending way too much time on the pop culture side of things, but that is essentially what I hoped to get out of it. In reality, I got so much more. So instead of throwing snippets about, I figured that I would try and get it out of my system before continuing. I also apologize for not throwing in actual photographs, but you know what, I have posted what I have and you can visit them on their own respective pages.

At first, I was very much overwhelmed by the change of culture. The first few days weren't so much appreciation as they were just trying to convince myself that I was in England. Even the trips to the pubs were met with me in disbelief that the fireplaces were made with real bricks. It just blew my mind. Somehow the accents were the least of my worries for awhile. However, by the end, I kind of felt like the nuances were getting to me. I almost felt like I had stayed long enough to replace most dialogue with "fucking hell." Quite a bit edgier than "bloody" if you ask me. 

I feel like being overwhelmed ruined the first five days. Not that these days weren't packed with memories. In fact, a lot of the basis of those days were fun filled. We went up to the top of the town's church, and I went into the Odeon in Brighton to see Gangster Squad. There was plenty worth admiring about the early days. However, around the following Monday, I felt like things clicked and I at very least was ready to do anything.

Of course, the introduction of snow was quite a hurdle, but at very least, I felt like I finally understood what being debilitated meant. I have had my own car for years now, so reliance on transportation hasn't been an issue. I argue that I at least spent 20 hours sitting on a train and waiting for the destination. I got so used to staring out the window that it was probably the most missed thing when I got back home. Also, watching BBC and discovering just how snow affected the country made me realize just how impacted that Viv's job was because of the conditions and how limited our time was. At very least, I felt like it gave us time to finally enjoy the world around us. With a car, there would be limitless places to go. With the snow blocking the train, we had no excuse but to walk around town.

I never got used to the currency and I only really drank once on the whole trip. Also, part of me feels guilt for being so excessive. However, the definition of excessive over there is quite different. For the most part, I also felt like maybe I was dehydrated (or constipated) most times because on average, the portions of drinks were smaller and only really were served at a rate of one every few hours. I had to savor liquids, and that is something I'm terrible at. I could handle the food, but liquids are not something I miss having little of. However, I do admit that another cultural difference is that England doesn't feel at all excessive. Even going to the bathroom at work seems to be more excessive here. 

I don't know that I learned too much that was culture shock in reality. The people were almost too mellow. Even the people I encountered who were shady didn't really come across as threatening as people from America. They had their quirks, but as long as I stayed my distance, I didn't feel like my life was in danger. I cannot find too much to complain about. They were efficient without being bossy and there was a sense of optimism that I feel is lacking here. Also, I just love not hearing about football every week. Coming to England really let me not hear about football. Also, the slang is less egregious, though more entertainingly fake.

I also feel like I know what cold weather is. I read on Facebook people complaining about weather, and all I could say was "I am walking in 0 degree weather. Ze-Ro." I used to feel smutty wearing a jacket, but it kind of made sense. I am trying to take weather more seriously now and not wear coats or turn on air conditioning just because it is a bit nippy. I actually can walk outside and despite a chill, it won't affect me as much as it would in England. I almost feel lucky to not have to worry about that.

I know that I am not saying a lot about Alex or the company, but that is because I have said most of the things that I wanted to about them in the past few entries. I had a lot of fun and you could give me three months, and I would still feel like it was short. At worst, I would complain about how stuffy the houses are after awhile (since the houses are older, air vents aren't installed in every room) and that yes, those accents may have bugged me. I don't exactly come from a place of authentic accents, but somehow there's an auditory element to home sickness.

In closing, I feel like I just learned to appreciate life more. I have kind of adapted that mindset over the past few years, but not in as rapid a way as I did during these two weeks. I am just hoping that I use it for motivation and not just slouch into nothingness. I need to make 2013 the year of accomplishments, and getting into the mindset is already a good start. Hey, I already found just where appreciation for burlesque fits. 

Also, I feel like the lasting souvenir that Alex gave me was a bruise on my right shoulder. It took me a few days to realize that it was there. It still is fading after a week, but I kind of look at it as a reminder of just how fun the trip was. True, it was not exactly the longest lasting or most positive thing he could give me, but I feel that it was the symbolism more than anything that makes the bruise matter.

So, this is it for Region 2 Diaries. I want to thank everyone who helped fund the trip, motivated me with advice, or just read what I had to say. I know that I probably gave more love to Operation Kino and Anne Marsen here, but do know that coming home to you guys was an equal part of my sanity as much as seeing the Wattses. I know that things didn't work out and I couldn't see Freya, but do know I send her a hello. I am hoping to make another, shorter trip out next year for her wedding, if just for an excuse to be out there. Hopefully by then, I will be living my personal goals instead of just saying them.

With this established, this may not be the end of Region 2 Diaries. In fact, it may be defunct for now, but please be aware. This is a blog dedicated to everything involving me and Alex. When we get together next, I will attempt to relaunch this with daily entries and multimedia again. Hopefully with less paranoia, but you never know. The possibilities of places to go are endless. Other dream trips? Canada and New York. Don't know why, but those two masses of land have fascinated me for awhile now. 

Thanks for reading, and I will see you when I try to launch this again. Don't know where, don't know when.

Day 16 [pt. 2] (Jan. 28): "When the shadows of this life have gone, I'll fly away"

ANSWER: This synonym for "wide" can be found before "cloth" or "minded."

-Day Sixteen-

Alex wakes me up in the morning and suddenly I realize that it is the last 90 minutes in Rye. I think back to the night before and how reading Matt Patches' Twitter account made me download this new thing called Vine. What is it? It is like the Twitter equivalence for Youtube. You film nonsense for six seconds and that is somehow justification for a new app. I cannot see it serving any purpose at all. However, I spent the night watching Matt Patches dance, so I got bored and downloaded it. I was intending on trying it out with Alex, but it never happened. Now I have it and I pray that it doesn't sweep the nation. It is fine, but I cannot fathom the world's attention span being cut down to six seconds.

After a bath and a last sweep of the room, I went down for a breakfast of oatmeal and tea. We had a fridge full of store name Coke knock-offs that were intended to be gone by morning, but ended up being in the fridge. Who knows if Viv will drink them all. In fact, who knows who is going to finish them off. We got our last conversations out of the way before heading off to the train. Viv decided to give us a speed rail all day pass. We saw her off at Ashford and after a few hugs, she went about her work schedule. I kind of wish that I thanked her more for the hospitality, but I suppose my good house guest style will shine through. Also, I left her a little something that I hope she liked.

Alex and I took the speed rail, which lead to a conversation about the stand up he performed a few nights ago. He downloaded the Rock of Ages version of "We Built This City" to play over and over. I went into listening to WTF with Marc Maron, which made Alex feel he failed me as a friend that I no longer listen to music in public. Truthfully, I think I overdo the podcasts, but I also feel like they have somehow centered me better than music was. I'm sure he understands.

We took the London Underground for the remainder of the train rides until we got to the airport. After checking in, at which point Alex called me stupid and demanded that the New Zealand Air attendant explain to me how to get through security and to the gate. Of course, the reason I looked confused was because I was following Alex, and we initially went through premium because he was walking that way. It was the start to a day that I partially wished I got sleep the night before.

We had an hour until I could be through security, so we had our last meal in the food court upstairs. It was going to be Wetherspoons, which is the first time that I got the words right. However, when it was discovered to be overpriced, we walked out and over to Viva Italia. Not knowing Italian, I fucked with Alex and began talking in Spanglish to describe Italian food. I had no idea if he was annoyed or laughing.Also, I pray that I didn't come across as ignorant tourist. It was all an extended, lame riff.

We both had lasagna and bought Lipton ice tea. We sat getting the last bits of conversation out of the way. Oddly, my biggest concern was that I didn't want to leave and go back to work. Why that overpowered my conversation, I do not know. However, we just chatted and tried to figure out ways to get Alex onto the flight. It didn't work, but it was a bittersweet way to say goodbye. We had some chocolate before he finally said his goodbye and suddenly like that, I was back to America. I was not ready to go, but the line was short and I had an hour before the flight to go. It almost breaks my heart that we usually only see each other in intervals of three years. It means that he either breaks it (talk is he MAY come out next year, but like every time he says it, MAY is a strong word, but it's really, really not like soon), or I wander life and wait for that time to come. 

Going from England to America seemed a little odder than the flight out. This is notably because I have done most of the pre-flight stuff in America. It isn't drastically different, but it is in a bigger building and going into America isn't something I do often. I pretty much prepared myself for a quick venture through security. I had all of my electronics in my bag, not wearing too much accessories, and my belt was loose enough to slap off at a moment's notice. Yes, I was ready to walk through and tip my hat.

In an odd series of events, I walked through the scanner and first thing goes wrong. I have nothing on me, but the buzzer goes off. The guy pats me down and clears me. However, the British are blunt about things, so all he does is says "Cheers" and expects me to know that I'm done. I wait five seconds before leaving because, well, who knows if that wasn't the freedom word. Then as I am packing up my belongings off of the table, another guy asks me about my bag. He takes out the electronics, scans them, and puts me on my way. So basically, my intention of getting through quickly and harmlessly took an extra minute. No real loss, but ironic since I really did try to make things as convenient as possible. 

I waited a few minutes to discover what my gate was. At first I was in disbelief. I haven't been in a big airport in quite awhile. Gate 48. Holy crap. I saw the signs and it pointed me to Gate 48. However, it felt like a tease because it just kept going and rounding corners until we finally landed at the end of the building, which was at least a five minute walk. I got through security and sat down with enough options for chairs. It felt like a V.I.P. room, as it was blocked off by a glass window and you had to flash your ticket to get in. I just sat there and popped on Operation Kino. I usually listen on Fridays, but this trip has been so crazy, I just decided to accept it. Also, it means nothing to all of you, but they have a remix clip of Patches' Matches sounds that really made me laugh, and I really hope a singular MP3 file exists. I was almost laughing in the airport whenever I heard the words "David?" or "Movies!"It is called Op Kino Orgy if anyone wants to do the grunt work.

In an interesting twist, the flight is boarding. However, unlike last time, I am the third section called. In fact, I am barely in that area, as he calls rows 51 back. I am 51 A! Last time I was 48 F, which meant I had to wait until that batch of people got on. I was on and sitting down, kind of hoping that I had good people sitting next to me. I didn't. I had an empty chair next to me. It was kind of glorious, as the lady two seats over and I took that chance to just stretch out and place our feet into the free space. You cannot ignore free space, especially on a 10 hour flight.

We took off and I almost immediately tried to get some sleep. It didn't work. I had my head down for three hours, trying to get to that point where I am just snoring. The wall was too painful, and the lady in front of me had her chair pushed far enough back that all I could do was lean my forehead on it. It was a pain in the ass to try and sleep. I am sure closing eyes does something, but lose consciousness, it did not.

Eventually, I decided to take a break from trying to sleep and watched Perks of Being a Wallflower. I get why people like it, but it just feels a little too familiar. Misfits hanging out and we discover why the lead character is shy. Truthfully, it reminded me of people I knew in high school, but that doesn't mean that I connected with it at all. As a shy kid, it seems like every misfit is somehow just thrown into random shit and loves life quickly. I don't quite see it that way. I felt it was going too much for melodrama, and it just didn't work. It made me almost glad that I wasn't in high school anymore. Also, the kids just felt like they were supposed to say the darnedest things. Either I am a special case, or I just don't get it. 

Then I got into podcasts to try and pass the time. I checked out the recent Comedy Bang Bang episode with Bill Cosby Bukowski. For those that don't know, Jon Daly plays Bill Cosby, but with Charles Bukowski tendencies. It doesn't make sense on paper, but it is fucking amazing to listen to. I was consistently laughing and I almost wish that the character had his own show. 30 minutes. Somewhere on the internet. It is probably and byfar my favorite Bill Cosby parody out there. Tim Heidecker was also there, and I still feel like I am coming around to liking him. He's funny, though seriously, I should have just gone overboard and downloaded more Comedy Bang Bang. Everything else I listened to just went out one ear and in the other but poorly constructed a sentence.

The last three hours were a nightmare. I had nothing to do. Podcasts were officially too hard to focus on. I was contemplating watching 21 Jump Street, but I grew bored of looking at things. I tried the sleep thing again. It failed miserably, but it did help people to leave me alone. It was a fucking long three hours. However, about 40 minutes to landing, a steward comes over to me and wonders if I am all right. He thinks that I have been sleeping for most of the trip, notably because I was asleep during the first meal and when he passed out the last one. In a sense, he kind of made me feel guilty, so I ate as much of the second course as I could before we had to prepare for landing.

I don't know why, but looking at Los Angeles at night is pretty odd. The lights look orange from the sky, and it almost felt like the freeway was crawling with centipedes. The orange color kind of bugged me and just so many lights. I didn't get that at all in England. In a sense, I suffered reverse culture shock, and didn't know if I could handle being back in the busy, open areas. The plane eventually landed and I felt the dread of having to get through customs. I had enough trouble on the plane filling it out correctly, as I first wrote down that I didn't have any sellable goods (which I just assumed meant souvenirs), but eventually wrote yes because I thought it meant souvenirs. 

After getting in the wrong line, a lady directed me to customs. Got through that with little hassle. Then I went through another version of customs with equally little hassle. I was now free and back home. The stress of being constrained was now almost gone. I only needed to find my ride home. I found my mom waiting in the lobby. I tried to persuade her that Alex was coming out, but she didn't believe me. We left without changing currency to American money. Don't worry, it was only L45 (just call that pounds). 

We spent the car ride home talking about the flight before transferring into a discussion about the Oscars. She is up to an impressive 6 out of 9 Best Picture nominees that she has seen. I still seriously believe that it is a great year and I am looking forward to the actual ceremony now. Not too much to share that I already told you, but I enjoy that our second instinct is to talk about the Oscars, notably because she has seen way more since I last spoke to her. We're oddly split on Lincoln, but I still am putting money on Argo for Best Picture and Steven Spielberg for Director.

We got home and my dad was there to meet me. He had dinner and we sat around talking about the trip. One of my first instincts was to get a big glass of tea and just swig it down. After living in a very conserving country, that extra gulp felt like a relief. I have been attempted to be pedigreed into drinking a glass every other hour. I get it, but it really did a toll on my body. I don't know if it was good or bad. 

After discussions, I said my goodbyes and caught up with the first two episodes of season two of Girls. The show is amazing, you guys. I probably will watch it again when I recap it (probably next week), but for the time being, the show is back, and while I feel it is somewhat more familiar than it should be, the cast is bigger and stronger, and I can find little to complain about. Gah! I need to find episode three. Episode two ends on such an intriguing cliff hanger that I need to know more. Girls may be slowly becoming a personal favorite of all time. We'll see.

In an odd twist, I actually didn't take long to get my sleeping pattern back to normal. I went to bed at 11 and woke up at 8. Almost perfect. All I have to do is maintain it and it will be like I never left. Thanks, body. Now, to start unpacking and hopefully catching Zero Dark Thirty this afternoon. Yeah, not exactly a great first day back, but it beats work, which I will probably go to tonight to look up my schedule. Side note, can I still drive? It has been so long since I touched a wheel.

As I said before, look out for a retrospective entry coming sometime in a few days. I don't know what I will say, but I probably will be taking up a lot of space. Also, pictures will probably be appearing soon as well. Until then, it has been a great trip and I love that I dovetailed this entire thing with Girls and Zero Dark Thirty. Females, you guys!

QUESTION: What is broad?

Day 1/2 (Jan. 13-14): Hobbits, Airports and Cockfosters

Welcome to the Region 2 Diaries. We are officially underway, and as the title would suggest, there are quite a few days that have passed since my arrival. So, instead of telling you a bogus one paragraph "That happened," I am going to truncate the first two days into one fitting post. Before I dive in, let me warn you that UK keyboards are slightly different, so if I make an egregious error and you have no idea what it was about, it is probably because the keys are not in the same places. Already, I must note that the @ and " symbols are in different spots, and that has caused some turmoil.

Before I dive in, I want to note that I plan to have multimedia going on in this. We have shot some videos that I hope to have up momentarily. Also, plenty of pictures courtesy of Alex unless specified otherwise. Do mind that I am almost cured of the jetlag, but I am still a little groggy, so things may get a little wonky in the first few posts.

Anyways, this is all just a preamble. I want to get this out of the way before I just jump into everything that I am about to write. Also, I just want to note that in order to combat home sickness, I will be opening each entry with Jeopardy questions and ending with the answer (or reverse, depending on your definition of the Jeopardy question method). So, now that we have the basic ground rules out of the way, let us begin the first entry. Since it covers the first two days, there will be two. However, expect one in the future.

 

ANSWER 1: This name comes from words meaning "strong ruler"; it explains a certain lion-hearted king.

 

ANSWER 2: This book begins, "June 17, 1972, Nine o'clock Saturday morning."

 

 

- DAY 1 -

 

Final day in America. For the most part, spent it relaxing. I did not put too much effort into it. My mother was impressed that I packed so neatly. I want to say that I consulted Google for packing tips. Because of that, I was able to figure out how to pack effectively. However, right now, everything is a ball of mess in the room that I am staying in. That's what I get for packing the underwear underneath everything. Oh well. Back to day one.

So, I'm packed and having spent the night having a Lena Dunham marathon of Girls and Tiny Furniture, I figured that I would get enough hours of sleep on the plane. I really believed that I could get enough sleep on the plane. After a shower and a chat in the living room, we realized that it was getting late. We had to take off to have a farewell breakfast.

So, what was quick and cheap? We went to Denny's. You know what they still had there? The Hobbit cross promotion meals. As ridiculous as I found them to be at the time, I was so eager to try them. So, I thew aside the main menu and immediately went looking for some yummy Shire-based food. I was not let down. I forget the name, but I like the alliterative nature of them all. Hobbit Hidey-Hole or something like that is what I got.

So, I spent a good portion of the conversation talking about my plans for the trip and soon it got on the subject: what are you going to be doing a week from today? Somehow this was immediately side tracked with my desire to know how each of the cats was going to be emotionally affected. I assume Tiger is going to be depressed and sleep all day and the Little One is going to be find inner peace. Face it, she will. She gets smothered with love whenever I am around.

So, on the way to the airport. Literally as we have that "Welcome to LAX" point of view, we are met with a very unwelcoming sight. A Zero Dark Thirty ad. Okay, I want to see that movie, and I kind of admire the craft that went into that poster. However, it is a movie about Osama bin Laden, the guy who orchestrated September 11, 2001. That involved AIRPLANES FLYING INTO BUILDINGS! At that moment, I was so against that poster that I bitched about it for the rest of that car ride. I mean seriously, who advertises a movie about plane crashes at an airport?

It was a slow day at the international terminal. I had to wait maybe behind one person to get to check in. It went smoothly, even though I still fumbled the carry-on luggage request by putting up my suitcase. If they had that much room on the plane, I figured that I would be fine. However, things were quickly resolved. In fact, no problems at any point of checking in or anything that happened after.

As I said, it was a slow day at LAX international terminal and so the goodbyes were clearly milked. I was there hours early and by the look of the line, I would be sitting in 15 minutes. I was almost right on the guesstimation, but no need to get into that. I went through this fancy tube that scanned the entire body. I have no idea why it exists, but I found it niftier than the traditional scanner system.

Because LAX international terminal is so small, I literally walked and it was the second terminal that I could find. The place is so small, I'd hardly call it an airport if it didn't tell me so every five minutes. So I sat and popped on the Oscar Talk podcast that I listen to and they were covering the recent nominations. Nothing too impressive, but at least I got to hear someone compliment Ellen Page. That is always a plus in my book.

It was a good 90 minutes though of sitting in the terminal and kind of feeling like I was entering an alternate universe. I admit that Long Beach is a very diverse city, but the culture blend in one small building made me feel like I was in that movie the Terminal. I expected everyone to wholeheartedly tear about the furniture and make me a bed and find it fine that I am different (yeah, I had issues with that movie). I ended up sitting next to a couple that was from Germany. The reason that I knew this was because the passports had that "eutsch" thing going on at the end and it was red. Also, I found myself oddly attracted to the accent. I now know why Christoph Waltz got nominated for Django Unchained. It feels so fatherly and protective.

Then after a flight to Mexico cleared up all of the wi-fi for my use, I took my free time to abuse free service. Then the plane came and soon we were on our way. I hopped on the plane and sat next to two women who I had no quarrels with. We respected each other's space, and I had my beloved window seat. Things were on their way to a mediocre flight. I was ready to sleep and just ignore the world for a few hours.

I began how I hope every day goes: with a little nod to the Simpsons. I watched "Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts." It is an episode of a rare echelon. I have only seen it once due to limited rebroadcast. I must say that I wasn't wild about it, and I feel like humanizing the sub-sub-characters is a little pointless, but it was a nice chance to see how awkward a Chalmers-heavy episode worked. It was very awkward, but was a good reflection of where the show could go.

I also popped on An Idiot Abroad, which is me being too meta for my own good. It was the Route 66 episode, and nothing felt more ironic than him starting in Santa Monica and moving east. Mind you, I don't visit Santa Monica much, but the feeling of familiarity is just uncanny. There was a lot that I connected with. Truthfully, my lack of preparation for this trip was me just saying that I want to get away. As it stands, I am still trying to accept that I am in England. Architecture is a big give away, but even then, I am expecting to turn a corner and see everything is a construction met to mess with me. I don't know if it is bliss, but the similarities in culture are just enough to keep me feeling like I am not in the middle of a small island. Also, Karl Pilkington may be as reluctant as I sometimes am so far.

Anyways, since things blend together, this is the end of day one. Turn tape over to read about the rest. Basically, after awhile, things turned to night, so I am just going to consider this Day Two material. It is great, though, that the lights made it look like lava pouring down the mountains. Bright, oozy lava. It eventually disappeared, but I loved the idea of imagining the world covered in lava from the sky. Like somehow I was fortunate to be on a surviving plane.

 

QUESTION 1: What is "All the President's Men"

 

-DAY TWO-

 

I forgot to mention. Our intro video was the famous video that Peter Jackson shot where everything was very much Hobbit-based. It was a little ridiculous and I feel like I am going to hate seeing it on the way back. I sympathize with the stewards who have to put up with it for every flight. It wasn't elaborately annoying, but the subtle winks and nods felt a little too pandering. Also, it must be confusing for the AARP crowd.

But anyways, flight continues and after a break from TV, I return to finally watch Pitch Perfect, a movie that I have convinced myself that I have been waiting for. Truthfully, as an unapologetic lover of Bring It On, I really want a lively, ridiculously fun movie. Also, puns on par with cheerocracy would be much appreciated. At its core, it was a movie that was solid, but it was trying too hard to be that fun movie of the year. First off, in the first five minutes, there's a gratuitous vomit scene that felt over the top. For a movie about accapella singing, over the top is a term you use lightly. Still, projectile vomit is such an issue with this movie. There's even a scene where a character is making snow angels in vomit. I mean seriously, how the fuck do people call this a great movie? Cut out five minutes, and I would be closer to accepting that.

Also, I have an issue with the depiction of Asians. They either are so quiet that you cannot hear them, or they are video game nerds. Really nothing to work with. I am fine with the black character being a closeted lesbian, but the equal rights crap in this just made no sense, speaking that the characters were not all equal. Even the nerd depiction was awful and played for broad humor. It's odd that a movie that I prayed would insult Glee to the death was itself an equally pandering film. I also hate that even though Anna Kendrick was one who said "I don't want a typical ending," we got JUST THAT.

Rebel Wilson actually comes out of this making me like her. She was definitely funny and I have enough clever moments to make me like it, in theory. However, I hate that it falls into the mean girls/controlling leader stuff in the last 20 minutes. The orchestrations on vocals were fine and I even like the idea of making Kendrick a mash-up artist, but even then, it served no end game, and it only made me want to watch Girl Walk // All Day.

And finally, I am officially tired of movies that reference John Hughes as a life changing person. Okay, more specifically, any film from post-2000's featuring a story that is set after 2000. I will admit, I watched my share of Hughes in high school, and Sixteen Candles is still a boss movie (don't get me started on Ferris Bueller though). However, what essentially killed my appreciation of Pitch Perfect (and Easy A for that matter) is that the leads were young people who likes Hughes films to the point that they dedicate their endings to ripping off Hughes. It doesn't make a happy ending, it is just so DAMN frustrating. Pitch Perfect may be a terrible offender of ripping Hughes off. Why do I take issue with young people referencing Hughes? It seems lazy and contrived. I mean, there has to be a more modern contemporary that will convince you that being young and hormonal is complicated.

I'm sorry world, but opening with a vomit joke and ending with a John Hughes knock-off is just a buzz kill. For all the moments of joy that Pitch Perfect gave me, it was too snarky and contrived. Also, my initial joy of it being a commentary on females in a male dominated society were quickly diminished when they began singing male-dominated songs, like as if this was how you made it in a male-dominated society. The subtext isn't blatant, but when you compare it to the blissful political commentary of Bring It On, you just look like amateur hour.

I took some time off before venturing into the next movie: The Pirates!: Band of Misfits. I mostly saw it to see if it was worthy of that Oscar nomination. I am proud to say that it is so much more. It arguably could have made my Top 10 for last year. Not even five minutes in, and I was laughing at the rapid-fire, blatantly British sense of humor. It was just so inventive and fun. It wasn't a terribly complex story (at first), but it was just so madcap and fun that I am glad that this movie existed. I was tempted just to put it on repeat for the rest of the flight, but I was feeling like it would be overkill.

I know, I know, I praise a movie and dedicate just a paragraph to it. However, if you like great kids movies and equally inventive animation, please see it. It really makes computer graphics look like shit. It also isn't very long, so you're not going to be missing out on much. To say the least, I had less to complain about than Pitch Perfect. God, even typing that title makes me loathe it more.

After that, I was rummaging in my bag. By this point, the person in front of me decided to lean back for a snooze. I had to watch The Pirates! from an odd angle for the last 30 mintues. However, it was a good excuse to give myself some great leg exercise. I pretty much operated with my legs. With the lights going down for the passengers, I was forced to try my hand at memory tests. I literally just tried reaching into the dark. However, in this time, my camera fell out of my bag and into a crevice between the seat in front of me and the wall.

I was obsessed with getting that camera. I unfortunately feel like it is now a little bit scratched, but things will be fine. However, as I moved my foot around, I tried to get it at a good distance to grab it. I got it right by my side at a comfortable distance. That is, if the chair in front of me would move up. It didn't for four hours. I tried to make it crawl up the wall (which is how I picked up my customs form when it fell). I just pushed it further back to a similar spot by my chair. A lot of me shoving my hand down the side to try and get it. No luck.

I practically was staying up because I had a desire to not forget about that camera. I mean, it was going to be there if I dozed off, but I felt like my memory would be wiped the second that I fell asleep. I stayed up just trying to believe that I needed to get it. Occasionally, I kept reaching down, trying to grab it, just to realize that the lady's chair made it even impossible for me to lower my head to an odd angle to reach it. However, this did make for good exercise. Also, the lack of energy that went into me getting it when the plane landed felt anti-climactic in comparison. It was only made more annoying when I saw that she was reading a Kindle and kissing a man who was watching a lot of Two and a Half Men in front of me. That would have been a deal breaker for me. Who watches that garbage?

Not too much happened, but I did stare into what looked like oblivion out the window. Darkness for almost six hours. It was a trip. I wanted there to be something out there. I decided to relax and just listen to podcasts. Doug Loves Movies' 12 Guests of Christmas was first. Close to three hours, it took 90 minutes just to introduce everyone, and I was already over the episode. If I didn't have 5 hours to kill, I wouldn't have listened to the whole thing. I don't even remember how it ended. I am really over listening to that show regularly.

The next one went a little smoother. Analyze Phish is a show that I heard about and never got around to. Scott Aukerman and Harris Wittels sit around playing Phish records until Aukerman admits that he likes the band. For the most part, this was the first time I ever listened to that band. It wasn't necessarily funny (as placing it in the comedy category suggests), but it was entertaining listening to people discuss music in a humorous manner that gave us a peek into their obsessions. I am kind of curious to listen to the other three episodes. Maybe?

It was pretty uneventful after that. I stared as the sky turned to morning. It was a gorgeous, layered look that felt like Antarctica mixed with Miyazaki or Life of Pi. I swear that I was looking at glaciers in the sky. However, after an hour of that, I realized that maybe I just wanted to see some land. It was a tease, as we had to circle in the sky for 20 minutes because the ground was congested. I really was getting desperate to see land at that point. I also was praying that my phone slid forward so that I could reach it.

We landed. Uneventful. When we got off, it was a long stretch from the plane to customs. I tried to follow people in case I got lost. In the end, I call that a smart move. I got to the customs line right before the crowd piled up from the flight. A short wait, but not as bad as if I stopped off to go to the bathroom. Jesus, did I have to go to the bathroom. I held it in for that long and I even had the meals. It was an unfair tease when we had to circle in the sky.

I was very overeager going through customs. Typical questions. Why was I there? I ended up making Alex to be this great musician that I was going to see record. Technically true at the time (reports argue that I may not be going to the studio), but it did lead to me enthusisatically saying everything that I knew about Alex. Nothing exploiting, but I just felt that the more I said, the easier it would be for me to get through. What was this? 21 Questions or bullshit detector? Does my buttoned down dress-up not make me look innocent enough?

Through customs, I finally went to that bathroom. It was glorious. Got my luggage and finally left the building to see Alex in the outside waiting for me. He was surprised that I was early, which I understood because my flight somehow was an hour earlier than expected. We got the money exchanged ($250 equals £174) and finally headed out to the trains. He gave me a card to get through all of the nonsense.

Nothing too eventful about underground trains. Very much what I expected. Maybe it was glee of finally being face to face with Alex, or the overwhelming amount of culture that I have been surrounded by, or even that I hadn't slept since 10 AM PST (so, roughly 6 PM Sunday) and it was around 4 PM Monday. We hopped trains a few times, and I got to see a lot of the country side. It gave us time to catch on. However, I just really wanted to stay still. All of the moving had gotten to me and I never felt like I got to familiarize myself with anything up until we got to his house.

However, the one bright spot on the trip was that the railway lead straight to Cockfosters. Imagine a female, British computer thingy saying that a lot. I really enjoyed that way more than I should have. I don't normally laugh at "cock" things, but suddenly, I was amused by that word. Maybe it is the placement in front of fosters, but it is just so amazing how much joy I got out of hearing that 17 times on a very long train ride to Rye.

 

Finally getting to Alex's house, I met everyone.

 

Even the cats, Pepper and Snowy, remembered me, or at least were quick to my affection. I ended up petting them a lot and I probably will the minute that I stop writing this. I enjoyed their company and I will admit that maybe I have abused the soda privilge that day, but I was really in the mindset that I neeeded to drink, drink, drink. Eating wasn't as high on priorities that day.

But we sat around talking. I talked to Viv about career plans, but I was probably out of it. I gave vague statements that I ended up disagreeing with. She didn't hate what I had to say, which is a plus. However, I don't know that it was the greatest conversation that I could have given. Luckily it was more lively and broad subjects after that point.

Just like last time, one of the first things that we did was watch "authentically British" comedy. She asked me what my favorite shows were. I honestly was probably warped, because I could only say the Simpsons. However, I finally saw an episode of Blackadder. I ended up arguing that it was too silly. That didn't go over well, nor did my analysis. I just felt it was too much jokes and not enough character. Truthfully, it was an odd thing to watch when I was trying to stay up and not entirely wanting to focus on something. It was good, but I felt like the joke-joke-joke thing was a little dated. I didn't really have constructive thoughts, and it was over the dumbest things. I still feel like what ended up being good conversations were ruined because I couldn't say that I like my humor dry and character-based. I argue that comedies are more interesting because even if they are not funny, a well constructed character with odd features is still fascinating to watch.

After some the Inbetweeners (and sharing with Alex my failed chance to interview the cast), I admitted that I was not into watching TV. I just wanted something that bordered nothingness. It turned out to be sleep. I wasn't feeling tired, but I think that was just from the shock of being in a new area. I crashed pretty easily after that point.

Okay, so what basically happened that I didn't say is that I met Viv's boyfriend Chris. He is a great guy and we got along pretty quickly. He had stories about the Olympics that I found interesting. He is really into the blues (which I have heard a lot of, from music to him just telling stories) and is just enthusiastic to introduce me to random odd things. So far, not much to complain about. Definitely a lively person and I enjoy him being around, though like almost all occasions, I feel like I am abusing his niceness by being typical houseguest. He makes sure I am comfortable. I admire that, but I still feel like maybe I could do something? What do I know. I think he's really nice, though.

 

It is Tuesday, January 15 right now. I will have to make today a two parter. Expect part one sometime soon. It will be mostly everything that I did before writing this. How sleeping went, and how I felt like 10 PM was 10 AM. Also, you'll be getting your first glimpse of pictures! Rye is a gorgeous city. Cannot wait for you to see the shots. I also may have some videos along the way. Until then, I hope you have enjoyed the inaugural post. Everything is great.

 

ANSWER 2: What is Richard?